Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff’s deputies said on Wednesday.
The ashes were taken from a woman’s home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on December 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office said.
Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.
“The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine,” the sheriff’s report said.
Once they realized their error, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes but threw them in a lake instead because they thought their fingerprints were on the containers, sheriff’s spokesman Judge Cochran said.
Police divers were trying to recover the ashes. The suspects were jailed on numerous burglary and other charges.
What a bunch of fucking fiends.
This literally made me tear up when I was reading it. These guys take the cake in the “most fiended shit to snort of all time” competition.
The previous owner of this title, was my homie (let’s just call him this to protect his real name) Fiend Joe.
A few months ago some fiends and I were driving to Atlantic City. The whole car ride Fiend Joe keept asking us if we had blow. We told him no.
We get to the hotel and we are all just chilling and getting settled in before we go hit the tables. All of a sudden I hear the classic cocaine snort sound in the background: snoooooooorrttttttttttttttt.
I turn around and see Fiend Joe holding a rolled up dollar. I’m like “Fiend Joe, what the fuck? You had shit this whole time?”
I’ll never forget this, he turns and goes “Nah. You fiends left that shit out for me on the table.”
We didn’t leave shit! We didn’t have shit! I run over to the table and see that our shitty, AC hotel room, had lines of dust all over it…
THIS FIEND SNORTED DUST. NASTY ASS, OLD HOTEL ROOM DUST.
That shit was one of the funniest fiend moments I’ve ever had. Gave a whole new meaning to the term Dust Head.
But these florida fiends completely blew that story out of the water. Theses dudes snorted straight dead man and dead dog ashes. DEAD DOG YAMS. That is the most absurd shit I’ve ever heard in my life.
Bravo, fiends. Ya’ll already won FIEND OF THE WEEK.
PS – Some of the best fiend stories come from Florida. Facts.
We see all you Florida fiends tweeting, we can’t wait to have a show there.