@BarackObama Needs To Fix This Woman Growing Nails Instead of Hair ASAP

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Nothing creeps me out more then skin issues. I almost vomited the first time I saw this poor girl. I vomited when my entire office crowded around my desk to watch this shit full screen. Let me get this shit straight tho. A young black woman wakes up to human nails growing out of every hair folicle on her body and Hospitals won’t help her without raping her financially? That’s where we are as a country? That’s where we are as a society? That’s where we are as the most intelligent form of life we know? A YOUNG WOMAN HAS FUCKING NAILS GROWING OUT OF HER PORES AND WE CAN’T FOOT THE BILL TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER. This is 100% on you @BarackObama. Pick up the fucking phone in Air Force 1 and make whatever fucking call you need to make to fix this girl. Then you call her and tell her that ‘This one is on America’ and get her fucking normal #ASAP. Then you call a national press conference where you use her story to leverage millions of votes.

@oakshades

PS. YO @SCIENCE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BRO? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH HER? @MEDICINE GET THE FUCK OVER THERE AND FIX THIS SHIT IMMEDIATELY. YOU BOTH ARE FUCKING LOSING RIGHT NOW.

PPS. THE CRAZIEST SHIT IS THAT THESE HOSPITALS WON’T PAY FOR HER MEDICAL BILLS… ARE YOU SHITTING ME???????? THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE OF AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO FUCKING MEDICINEEEEEE. HOLY SHIT I’M SO FUCKING LIVID.

PPPS. No shot her professors believed that email she sent them saying she needed to reschedule her midterm cause her body started growing nails out of her hair follicles.

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#TEAMNODAUGHTERS: Web Cam Girl Loses It

DAMNNNNNN this is sad. Just everything about this video is so fucking sad. Did you know that dudes pay bitches real money in real time to show them titties online?

YO DUDES ALL THOSE FUCKING VIDEOS ARE RECORDED BY EVEN BIGGER CREEPS THEN YOU AND ARE ON PORNHUB.

Did you know that chicks can turn block specific states and then finger fuck themselves on camera for extra spending money? Goddamn I don’t want to even think about the fathers out there who birthed daughters who are dumb enough to not block their state. Poor sons of bitches. I’m not gonna go in on this chick’s looks or emotional break down cause it fucking speaks for itself… but these two clips stuck out to me.

0:00 – 0:17 = If my name was Jake, this would be stuck in my head FOREVER and I’d be so scared.
2:34 – 3:04 = The saddest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire fucking life.

Four sons. Preferably a set of 6 foot 9 twins who either throw 103 MPH fastballs or can do 360 windmills and then the other two can just be dope at other shit.

#TEAMNODAUGHTERS

@oakshades

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#TEAMNODAUGHTERS: TI Spazzes on Thirstbucket Hollerin at His 16 Year Old Daughter

This is a perfect example of when “the thirst” goes wrong. The awkwardness of your parents being on social networks must be amplified when your father is a former dope boy/jail bird and current Hip-Hop superstar. Note to thirsty 16-year-olds, if you are going to come at T.I.’s daughter, Zonninque, you must come correct or be dealt with.

After the singer from the OMG Girlz posted a picture on Instagram, a thirst bucket left a comment asking the singer simply, “can we f**k?” Well the “kang of the south” took absolutely no time to put the poor kid in check.

“Ni**a u ever disrespect me & mines like that again I’m gon throw more $$$ at ya head than it cost to build yo mama a new house,” said Tip. “Boy don’t f**k your sad azz lil life up before i can get it started…u gon get yaself *F**ked* aight…in ya mouth wit ya own lil pee-pee. Now keep playin round wit it lil homie. #NoBulls**t.”

Let that be a lesson kids, embrace the thirst with caution.

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything more amazing then this:

What do you think this dude is doing today? Nobody loves Hip-Hop drama more then 16 year old black kids. EVERY SINGLE PERSON HE KNOWS IS CURRENTLY CUTTING ASS ON THIS KID. I don’t know if there’s anything more horrifying then a Rapper who went to jail for SEMI AUTOMATIC WEAPONS AND SILENCERS telling you that he will get your mouth fucked by your own little dick.

@oakshades

PS. Obey your thirst… unless you’re thirsty to fuck TI’s daughter.

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Michael Jackson – Bad (AFROJACK RMX Feat. Pitbull)

Michael Jackson gets the remix treatment courtesy of DJ Afrojack and Pitbull. Mr. Worldwide “toasts to the King” on a sped-up club remix of his 1987 classic “Bad.” The DJ Buddha edit, along with other remixes, remastered hits, and unreleased demos, will appear on Bad 25, the 25th anniversary edition of the King of Pop’s seventh album, due September 18.

@oakshades

VIA

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Big Brother in NYC aka The NYPD’s New “Domain Awareness” Surveillance HQ

This afternoon the NYPD debuted their “all-seeing” Domain Awareness System, which syncs the city’s 3,000 closed circuit camera feeds in Lower Manhattan, Midtown, and near bridges and tunnels with arrest records, 911 calls, license plate recognition technology, and even radiation detectors. Mayor Bloomberg dismissed concerns that this represented the most glaring example of Big Brother-style policing. “What you’re seeing is what the private sector has used for a long time,” Bloomberg said. “If you walk around with a cell phone, the cell phone company knows where you are…We’re not your mom and pop’s police department anymore.” NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly stated that the system, which is currently operational out of the department’s Lower Manhattan Security Commission HQ, was developed with a “state of the art privacy policy” and “working with the privacy community,” but did not offer specifics. DAS does not have facial recognition technology at this time, but “it’s something that’s very close to being developed,” the mayor said. The system was developed with Microsoft and paid for by the city for $30 to $40 million, and has already been in use for six months. The feeds compiled by the system are kept for thirty days, then erased. In a live demonstration of DAS, the NYPD’s director of policy and planning for counterterrorism, Jennifer Tisch, showed reporters how the system responded to a recent report of a suspicious package. A description of the package (a closed “Jack Daniels” box) was shown next to its location. Video feeds within 500 feet of the package’s location that showed the location several minutes before the package was reported to police, so that the system’s operator could determine who or what placed the package there.
In another example, a radioactive isotope—Technetium-99—was detected and the officer at the helm is shown a description of the isotope. “I want to stress that this isotope has both medical and industrial uses,” Tisch said, before adding that it would be the officer’s judgement call as to whether the isotope meant that it was a terrorist threat or someone who had recently undergone “some sort of medical procedure,” as the mayor put it. “It takes some judgement to use technology,” Bloomberg added, presumably including on-the-spot radiography in his assertion. Reports of suspicious cars can be followed up with license-plate scanners, which will track and beam back the location of the vehicle to the system so that the police can follow it in real-time—video feeds will also show delayed images to help the officers determine if the car is in a caravan. Arrest and driving records are shown alongside the camera image. “This system is the ultimate in domain awareness,” Tisch said. Regarding the department’s recent request for information from Twitter for a threat made by one of its users, Kelly said that social media monitoring “is not done at this location,” and that “[The NYPD] only monitors social media for specific investigations. That’s the world we live in.” The City will receive 30% on the profits Microsoft will make selling it to other cities, although Mayor Bloomberg declined to say if that money would go back into the NYPD. “Maybe we’ll even make a few bucks.”

YUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP that happened.

So rewind like 6 months or so and me and Bas are out in Amsterdam mobbin thru the streets at like 3 am waiting for the Mook shops to open with this random yams dealer when this crazy fucking fight breaks out in front of a club. Shit is pretty intense and then some dude really wyled and pulled out a heater so we fucking bailed with the quickness. Yams dealer homie tells us how dumb that dude was cause every street has cameras on it on some CCTV shit in the Red Light district to curb crime. Fast forward a few days and our flight lands in London. We get in a cab and take a little tour round the city before we hit O2 Arena to link with the Dreamville fam for the Cole x Tinnie Tempah show. (YO THE CABS IN LONDON LEGIT COST LIKE $100 FOR A 15 MINUTE RIDE) The cabbie was explaining to us how the ENTIRE city has cameras EVERYWHERE. Like if you run a redlight in London, you get a ticket sent to your crib. Think about that. We were like woahhh that’s so OD, but I guess it’s good for crime right? Cabbie was like hell no, the police use the CCTV literally just to make GUAPPPPP off of tickets. Then we had a 10 min convo about how long it would take for NYC to adopt a system like this…

@oakshades

PS. I can’t believe Morgan Freeman convinced Batman to sell his listening TV wall to Microsoft.
PPS. I never used location services on my phone cause I didn’t want people to know exactly where I was at all time. Wave called me an idiot for this cause he was adamant that these mugs knew exactly where I was no matter how hard I tried to fight that.

“What you’re seeing is what the private sector has used for a long time,” Bloomberg said. “If you walk around with a cell phone, the cell phone company knows where you are…We’re not your mom and pop’s police department anymore.”

Wave 1 – Me 0

VIA

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The Most Depressing Thing To Come Home From Work To…Ever

I don’t  believe in God at all, but I will say, coming home from work to see this yesterday really solidified it for me. Tired from the day and the commute I go through my side gate and see this. BOOM. Just a big old bag of beers. Some Bud Lights, some Natty Lights and the telltale sign that this was a group of drunken young guns, some Mike’s Hard Lemonade, though I can’t act like I didnt fuck with Bacardi O3 in my tween days. I’ve never felt a wave of such conflicting emotions.

On one end, well played guys. The bag was densely packed, tied and leaned against the fence neatly and out of sight from people walking by the front yard. I won’t pretend that there weren’t nights many moons ago when a lack of garbage cans on the street wasn’t a major issue. On the worst of times when you were pegged as the a part of bag ditch crew, sudden walkers or cars led you to drape the bag over a bush, or even worse, the front lawn. Terrible human beings. It’s a good thing I had 97% of the bangers in middle and high school because: a) I never got stuck with this duty and b) by the time I came around my parents didn’t give two shits.

I’m “old” now. I go to the bars in my town and I feel angry at the beer bottles the out of towner’s leave on the train platform or in front of the bar when they leave a taxi. Who leaves a bag of beers in the street anyway? What a bunch of dicksucks.

But looking this bag in the eye, the aging process hit me like a sock filled with pennies. Good for these kids, because they don’t need much to get it cracking. I mean, I don’t need much either but these kids don’t need anything. They’re resourceful. They’re fiends in training. They need a couple of hours, a fake ID/someone to buy them beer, their parents at a movie or restaurant and that’s it. Or they need that one bar that lets anyone in — like codename 60B — letting me in with a $10 cover when I was 16 with a 26 year old’s ID. They knew exactly what they were doing. Some of the best nights I ever had were being relegated to my house’s basement with a party while my brothers dominated the upstairs. Just making something out of nothing. Whoever moves into my house next is going to have zero clue of the things that transpired there. I don’t think I even want to know what the walls would say.

But back to these kids. I guess the bag isn’t depressing. Maybe one of these guys even got an over the pants handjob that night. The bag means some young mugs out there are still getting pumped for the little shit. Still treating their Natty 12 like the suitcase in Pulp Fiction. They’re not getting high (they probably are actually) and masturbating with their broken dreams and tears as lubricant…

…yet.

-Droog

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Blowjobs + Swallowing = Cure for Morning Sickness

ALBANY, N.Y. (CBSDC) – Pregnant women have used natural remedies such as a teaspoon of ginger or a mint to help battle morning sickness. But now, one medical professional believes you can add oral sex to that list.According to Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at SUNY-Albany, the best way to cure morning sickness during pregnancy is sperm.But not just any sperm, it should be the sperm of the person who got you pregnant. Gallup believes the reason a pregnant woman gets morning sickness is due to the unfamiliar semen in their body due to the pregnancy.Gallup says in his findings that the woman’s body will initially reject the father’s semen as an infection and react to it by vomiting. Gallup says the best cure for morning sickness is to ingest the father’s semen so her body can build up a tolerance to what’s already in her body.Gallup agrees with the 2000 abstract from the National Center for Biotechnology Information, which showed that oral sex and swallowing sperm is correlated with a diminished occurrence of preeclampsia.PubMed Health defines preeclampsia as when a pregnant woman develops high blood pressure and protein in the urine after the 20th week, which is usually in the late second or third trimester of pregnancy.

I was super geeked after I read this and then I remembered how creepy those preggo porno vids on YouJizz are and then I was like ‘ewwwwwwwwwwwww preggo porn’. Killed my whole fucking vibe. Pregnant bitches should watch soap operas and eat random food not get fucked on camera for cash. My whole day is ruined thanks to thinking of preggo bitches fuckin and suckin.

@oakshades

PS. SOME HUGE FIENDS PULLED THIS OFF AND I’M PRETTY PROUD OF THEM FOR THAT.
PPS. How retarded is it that this is a legit article from CBS’s news division?

VIA

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#TBT Throw Back Joint: Bas – Fiendest Girl feat. KQuick

Shittttt maybe a track from a year ago isn’t an og #Throwback but it still counts. This is one of my favorite joints off of Bas’ first music project EVER.

FUCKS WITH IT.

@oakshades

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Creepiest Ice Cream Ad Ever

THIS IS THE SHIT FAT NIGGAS LIKE ME HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT.

THESE MUGS LITERALLY MUSTA PULLED THIS OUT OF MY 12 YEAR OLD BRAIN ON SOME SERIOUS INCEPTION SHIT.

@oakshades

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Krokodil: The Fucked Up Drug For The TRUE Fiend

I can recall seeing this video a few years ago (this current one must be a re-upload?) but holy shit — as a man who has seen every terrible thing the black hole of the Internet has to offer, I can assure you that the above video IS NOT FOR THE WEAK AND NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR LIFE. I felt the urge to write something up on it after this a series of disturbing photos titled “Krokodil House” popped up on Reddit today. Imagine a crackhouse, but with 1,000x less quotability and much, much more depressing.

What you’re seeing in the video is a woman in the throes of krokodil addiction, suffering the insane effects the drug brings upon its users. Krokodil is basically a “moonshine heroin” made from a slew of store bought ingredients like codeine based medicine and eyedrops. Although it’s cheaper than heroin, the effects are infinitely more gruesome, namely the fact that a users skin literally rots off their body. Hence the name Krokodil so closely resembling the word “crocodile”, an animal with scaly skin. From a great article in The Independent talking about krokodil users:

“She won’t go to hospital, she just keeps injecting. Her flesh is falling off and she can hardly move anymore,” says Sasha. Photographs of late-stage krokodil addicts are disturbing in the extreme. Flesh goes grey and peels away to leave bones exposed. People literally rot to death.

Jesus, Russia has a bad enough heroin problem as is. Afghanistan is stationed below Russia, a country responsible for 92% of the world’s opium production. Russia is flooded with this heroin — perhaps a form of “narco-terrorism” — and now consumes nearly 20% of that heroin, with 1.5 million addicted users, 80 of which are dying from it every single day. Now you throw krokodil in there? Fuck. I mean, think about how fiended Russia is: this is the country that ran out of vodka after World War II concluded. Now they’re shooting up moonshine heroin. No thanks, I’ll stick to rolling Dutch Masters.

-Droog

PS: As usual, VICE did a great documentary on the krokodil problem in Russia. I honestly thought they could have made it more fucked up but the emptiness in krokodil addicts eyes is fucking harrowing to say the least. Just nothing there.

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