George Zimmerman’s Lawyer Opens With A Knock Knock Joke

Are you kidding me bro. I want this nigga Zimmerman to go to jail for life. He deserves to eat cock meat sandwiches every day forever … but this shit is ridiulous. Is his lawyer trying to lose on purpose? A knock knock joke? I’m not a lawyer but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that if you’re representing a dude in one of the most controversial trials in a minute, leave the punchlines at home.

@oakshades

PS. I just wanna punch Zimmerman in the fucking face. His face is so punchable.

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Dave Chappelle Predicted Fox News

Come onnnnnn Fox News.

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Museum Can’t Explain Paranormal Activity 6

YO WHAT THE FUCK B?

An Eygptian statuette that mysteriously turns itself round inside its display case has left experts baffled at the Manchester Museum. Even eminent television physicist Professor Brian Cox has weighed in on the mystery of Manchester Museum’s moving statuette, which dates back to 1800 BC. The 10-inch tall statue of Neb Sanu was discovered in a mummy’s tomb and has been with the Museum for eighty years, but has only recently been noticed moving. Prof Cox, who teaches physics at the city’s university, claims the movement is due to the “differential friction”. However, Manchester Museum’s resident Egyptologist Campbell Price suggested something more sinister, an Egyptian curse. “I noticed one day that it had turned around. I thought it was strange because it is in a case and I am the only one who has a key,” he explained in an interview with the Manchester Evening News.

This is bugging me out. Aliens nigga. DIFFERENTIAL FRICTION???? That sounds like some shit the doctor in a movie would say about a statue that has been spinning because he has no clue that Aliens are on the way to feast on human brains. FUCKKKKKK. HIV CANCER ZOMBIES AND ALIENS. FUCKKKKKKKKK

@oakshades

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Fighting Cancer With HIV

Listen. This sounds like it makes sense. Kill off one fucking awful disease with another one. I’m pretty sure that by injecting these ‘Serial Killer’ cells into a fiend’s body is gonna make zombies. Like is this not the perfect beginning to a zombie movie? Come on now. This shit is getting so OD. I’m happy that Emma didn’t die … but I hope they have her locked up in the biggest bubble of all time. WATCH. This shit finna happen people.

@oakshades

PS. All jokes aside. Pretty insane what Science is doing these days.

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Hot Chick x Box of Roaches

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO that’s so wrong.

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No Olho Do Furacão (In The Eye Of The Storm)

Fiends are rioting in Brazil. I’m not gonna front and tell you I know why. I think it’s pretty crazy that we all know that Kanye and Kim named their kid North West and are getting married but we have no clue why the youth of Brazil are in the streets burning shit. Peep as Photographer Michel de Souza puts himself dead center in the middle of Brazil’s protests. This shit is dope.

@oakshades

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The OffLine Glass

Dumbest shit I’ve seen in fucking months. I get the idea of let’s get rid of phones in social settings but goddamn this is so dumb it makes me sad. No beverages should ever be placed ontop of a phone. Pretty simple premise no? That’s all I got. Nothing funny. I’m just actually mad these mugs think this is a good idea and that the ad world is giving this homies shine.

@oakshades

PS. I’m bout to be on my 3rd iPhone in the last 4 months. FUCKKKKKK

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A Very #Fiend Week

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So on Monday night we were all sitting at The Dub mookin a blunt before bed talking bout the week. Wave looked over and was like “yo … we’re bout to get shitfaced for like four days in a row”. This dude didn’t even know how bodied we were gonna get. Tuesday night we hit Catch for Cole’s album release party. We mooked a few dutches … crushed a bottle of Fireball and hit the club. Fiends really turnt the fuck up. It was a Tuesday night and all of these mugs had work the next day. That didn’t stop anyone. I tried to holla at this one jawn who was wearing Lady Gaga shades and a dust mop tube top. I ended up taking the L train home at 5 am and eating pita chips by myself in my bed.

I don’t know how this niggas went to work the next day but everyone made it. Nobody got fired. Nobody puked in a meeting. Successful weeknight party. But Wednesday didn’t bring a calm ass night in with the Fiends. That night we copped another bottle of Fireball, mooked a few more blunts and then hit Irving Plaza for Cole’s “A Dollar and A Dream” tour.


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Bornsinner.com | J. Cole

I can tell you for sure that there was no way in hell I thought I’d be doing what I’m doing today. When I was finishing up at NYU, the world collapsed financially. All my plans kinda went to shit. At the same time Cole’s career took off. Cole said he was gonna become a rap legend … began the journey to become a rap legend. It was crazy to see. Watching Cole do what he has done is the most inspirational shit I’ve ever witnessed. I really believe that I can do anything I put my mind to. I always knew that, but I don’t think I ever believed it till Dreamville happened. Watching Cole create Born Sinner has reinvigorated my passion for life. This nigga put his heart and soul into this project. EVERY SINGLE DAY AND NIGHT. Seeing someone care so deeply for something makes me want to care about something that much.

@oakshades

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Is This Racist : KMart ‘Knickers’

So homies made this video and KMart has been taking heat for it over the weekend. They said that they had nothing to do with such a racist video. After reading about the video, I watched it. This shit is funny. I don’t really think it’s racist at all. But I’m also a Black Jew who pretty much hates everyone equally. What do you fiends think?

@oakshades

PS. They needed a black chick to hit an employee with a “Knickerss pleaseeee” and I woulda been super geeked.

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