The NYC Soda Ban Kinda Explained

Shit as long as I can still crush Treintas from Starbucks there are 0 fucks given about this bullshit over here bruh.

@oakshades

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My iPhone Auto-Correct Is Finally Starting to Get Me…

YERRRRRPPPPPP YEEEEERRRRRRRRPPPPPP

Hahah that’s what’s up iPhone. Finally starting to get the lingo.

Now if I can just get this whore Siri to stop changing “Yo” to “To” when I start a sentence. How many times a year do I start a sentence with “To”? Maybe 5? I start with “Yo” everyday. That shit drives me fucking nuts.

@Wave_Bandana

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Amber Lounge Hates Gays But Loved SMF

That is the face of a fiend that is completely bodied off of multiple substances including some bomb ass sour mooked from a cigar in the VIP of a place called Amber Lounge. Please proceed to read this article I came across when reading the Daily News.

The owner of a small chain of Asian restaurants — two in Greenwich Village, of all places — canceled a same-sex wedding party after saying gay and feng shui don’t go together, a lawsuit charges.
Newlyweds Barrett Greene and Thomas Eng say the owner violated their civil rights. Greene, 50, is a plumbing contractor from upstate New York, and Eng, 38, is a Manhattan-based computer professional.
They met on a cruise ship in 2004 and had a jet-setting romance before deciding to make it official with a wedding this summer. They decided to have a rehearsal dinner at Amber Village, and also have their big day catered by the Asian fusion joint at Sixth Ave. and 10th St. On March 23, Greene met with manager Tommy Ho to plan a rehearsal dinner for 40 and reception food for 200 guests, court papers say. Ho took a $750 deposit for the dinner, charging it to Greene’s American Express card. Exactly a week later, Ho called to say the event might have to be moved to to Amber, a sister restaurant on Christopher St. — a short stroll from the birthplace of the gay pride movement.

But that plan was short-lived, according to the suit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court.
The couple contends that later that same day, a senior manager of Amber Village — a man identified only as Mr. Fong — summoned Ho. “Fong was visibly angry and told Ho that he didn’t want any ‘gay parties’ at Amber Village,” the suit charges. “Fong instructed Ho to ‘make an excuse’ and tell Greene that his rehearsal dinner could not take place at Amber Village and that his wedding could not be catered by them either. “Fong also told Ho that it’s ‘very bad’ for Amber Village to book ‘gay parties’ and that big groups of ‘gay partyers’ are especially bad for feng shui.” Then, according to the suit, Fong fired Ho, who could not be reached for comment. Feng shui is an ancient art that dictates where objects should be placed in a room to promote harmony and good fortune. Restaurant owner Qi Yeng Lin did not return calls, but the manager of the Christopher St. location said he was surprised by the allegation.

“Feng shui has to do with luck and fortune. It has to do with where do you put your plants and flowers, your furniture. It has nothing to do with who are your clients,” Bo Lee said. He denied the company would discriminate against gays. “This is the West Village. We don’t turn away anyone,” Lee said. “We have gay managers.” Greene and Eng are seeking unspecified damages. They note that Amber Village — which closed in June — never refunded their deposit. Despite the early hitch, their love story had a happy ending. The couple, who registered at Tiffany’s, got married in a rooftop ceremony at the Midtown Loft and Terrace on 29th St. on June 9. Their wedding website doesn’t say anything about that venue’s feng shui, though it does note that the teak lattice flooring might “pose some difficulty for women in very slender heels.”

This shit had me dying man. Amber doesn’t let Gays have parties at their spots… but they let the Fiends throw parties there where we were at least 500 people over legal capacity and were popping bottles uptop in the VIP and mooking CIGARS filled with bomb ass sour. This 100% happened. You will illegally serve minors alcohol, jeopardize everyone’s lives and let 30 fiends pack the VIP and smoke weed but you won’t take some gay niggas’ money.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

@oakshades

PS. I don’t remember which one of this niggas was the dude we used to work with at Amber but that nigga had the worst breath of all time b. OF ALL TIME.

PS. Shouts to DJ Smalley for hooking us with tunes for those parties. Good times man… Good times.

***Wave Bandana Edit***

I have zero issues or problems with same sex marriage. I do however have a problem with anyone, straight or gay, that would WANT to have any part of a SACRAMENT in Amber Lounge. Fucking Amber Lounge??? Are you kidding me? That would be like having a baptism at 13 Step or a bar mitzvah at Pour House. I wouldn’t bring a girl considered a 1-4 on the 1-10 scale to Amber, let alone my wife. I honestly think that piece of shit is like 5 steps down from it’s shit hole neighbor Artica.

The bigot Asian dude did these people a favor.

@Wave_Bandana

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Dude Trolls Fox & Friends About Obama and Romney

This shit is funny but bro you had the pulpit my g. You coulda seriously done some work for us young heads talking to old heads and you made a little video for youtube instead. I want to be on Fox. I want to fucking talk to these people. I want to talk to Sally from Nebraska who never has met a black person, thinks we all are Chief Keef’s third cousin and doesn’t realize that she is basically the same as a young black mother living in the West Baltimore projects. I want to tell them that they are not millionaires in waiting. You’re a fucking democrat and the only reason you don’t realize it is

a. you’re most likely dumb as fuck (not your fault it’s a combination of gene pool and your surroundings)
b. you’re most likely racist as fuck (kinda your fault but still a combo of who you grew up around)
c. fox news

The Muslims aren’t gonna kill you. The Jews aren’t stealing ALL of your money, some of it? yea but not all of it. All Black people can’t dunk, run sub 4.3 40s and aren’t trying to fuck your mother, wife and daughter right not.

I feel like I could rip down fucking barriers in this country.

@oakshades

PS. More info on dude…

As it turns out, the man who appeared on Fox News Monday morning is an aspiring stand-up comedian from Austin, Texas who’s featured in YouTube video telling jokes about raping children and claiming that he wants to be a porn star.

“On winter break in Mexico, Juarez, Mexico, is fucking sick you know?” he said. “Juarez is some real GTA shit, you know? You can do anything. You can fuck kids. You can fuck kids. You can kill people. Fuck all of you people. I do not care.”

Rice added: “Fuck all of you guys. Usually when I tell jokes people laugh. I’ll just make fun of you fucks. That’s on YouTube. Jack off to me, fuckin’ 65-year-old freak. I’m talking to my Internet fans, not you 13 useless fucks in the comedy place. Yeah, what the fuck. I want to be a porn star. I mean, I’m dabbling in careers. If this is not working out I might become a porn star.”

Speaking to Raw Story on the phone Monday morning, the man who pranked Fox News said he’s always believed “Fox News is a fake news organization,” and explained that he wanted to shame the conservative television channel for being “stupid” and looking for interview subjects as if they were “casting a part in a show.”

Rice said that the opportunity to go on national television “kind of fell into my lap” when “a friend of a friend” got a text message asking if anyone knew a recent college graduate who can’t get a job and is voting for Mitt Romney. “I’m like, hell yeah I’m a college graduate. Eff Obama!” he said. “20 emails later with the producer at Fox, they’re telling me what to say. It’s such bullshit. It’s so ridiculous.”

Rice told Raw Story that he in fact dropped out of the University of Texas, but lied to Fox News about being a graduate just to see if they’d do their homework.

“The first thing that shocked me is that they were that desperate to find someone that fit that category,” he added. “What they were seeking is someone who voted for Obama in 2008, then somewhere in the last four years got disenfranchised and now is a huge Romney supporter. But I feel like anyone who fits that mold would also dis Romney at the same time. So, they just couldn’t find anyone. They’re in New York City, so they had to go find a kid in Chicago.”

Rice went on to say that he initially convinced them to do “a three person interview” with two of his friends, but a Fox News producer nixed that plan upon hearing a voice mail recording by one of the other guests that mimed the pedophile character from Fox’s “Family Guy.” They considered that to be “a liability,” Rice said, noting that they apparently didn’t see his vulgar, incendiary stand-up routine on YouTube. “[The producer] obviously had never seen ‘Family Guy’ before either,” Rice added.

“They were so happy that I fit the mold and that I was Caucasian,” he continued. “They were just casting a part in a show. They were so stupid… I’m a kid messing around. They had 10 days to ask for my driver’s license. They saw my [high school] commencement speech video, but they’re too stupid to realize that if I graduated in 2010, I wouldn’t graduate college until 2014. That’s why I was so awkward in the interview. I wasn’t going to lie.”

“I want this story to get out because I think it’s bigger than just me,” he concluded.

VIA

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Team No Daughters : Wait for itttttt

Slow clap for the dude who talked his chick into roadhead in broad day behind a school bus.

@oakshades

PS. All I’m saying is that I don’t want to deal with having this be a feasible option for my daughter in the future. As a father of this dude… I’d high five my son for this. As a father of this chick… I’d cry and ask her why she is so goddamn retarded and if she enjoyed being the face of Dutch Roadhead forever?

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Bill O’Reily and John Stewart to Debate

Jon Stewart and Bill O’Reilly have announced plans to put the presidential debates to shame with their very own battle of wits.

“The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium” will take place on October 6th at George Washington University, with the entire 90-minute spectacle set to be livestreamed online.

Those who want to witness history in the making need only shell out $4.95 — and at least fifty percent of the proceeds will be donated to charities.

Among other topics, the two talk show hosts will debate gas prices, the national debt, and America’s relationship with Muslim nations. The event itself will be moderated by CNN anchor E.D. Hill, and presented in presidential debate style, but “without all the phoniness and pomposity,” O’Reilly said on yesterday’s O’Reilly Factor.

As for what people can expect when the two pillars of commentary step into the arena, Stewart said it would be not unlike Thunderdome, but instead of two men entering and one man leaving, two men will enter and both will leave, “but probably not together.”

How do I feel about this?

Thanks Bart!

@oakshades

PS. How fucking sad is our country that we have two comedians (one intentionally aka John and one who is so pompous that he actually believes he is the protector of white america’s truths aka Bill) debating the well being of our country and it will prolly be way more awesome then the actual presidential debates?

PPS. I hope Stewart goes in on this nigga and doesn’t pull punches like he usually does. GET IN THIS NIGGA’S ASS JOHN.

VIA

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Mitt Romney is a Douche (Leaked Videos)

Come on b. At this point Obama is gonna have to fuck a baby on national TV to make this race close.

YO MITT FOR SOMEONE WHO IS FUCKING MEXICAN YOU SURE HATE MEXICANS.

Oh also do you know what doing shit the hard way and earning your own shit means? It means not having a wealthy ass fucking pops who is the Governor of Michigan line up your life so you can be a wealthy ass Governor.

@oakshades

PS. I’m not on welfare. I pay for all my own shit nigga and you know what? I’m voting for Obama. Do I think that the lazy fucktards of our society should be able to trap at the crib and collect welfare and shit? No, I don’t think so. But you know what? There’s a single mother with three kids out there who unfortunately was a naieve teenager and fell for the wrong nigga who took off and left her with a burden she cannot handle. Should those kids automatically be set on a doomed path off jump? You made 50 mil last year and you don’t think it would be better for our society if your taxed more then she is on her Secretary salary? That’s a bad thing? Her feeding her kids off Food Stamps is a bad thing? Fuck you.

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Happy New Year My Jew

It’s the new year according to the torah my niggas. Did mad Jewish shit yesterday with the fam so that’s why I didn’t post any funnies. We back tho and guess what? We got our first mockup of the new layout. It looks clean. Movementos being made fiends.

@oakshades

PS. I’m not religious ala all my rants but there is something nice about family traditions and shit.

PPS. I’m still laughing at this tweet from the #HateHard Emperor

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J. Cole – I’m a Fool

The final cut of Cole’s new song he debuted at the San Bernardino Rock the Bells stop. People were really fucking with this one, a lot of fans constantly requested this on Twitter. Cole did some dope shit today and responded to a random twitter fan’s request for this record by emailing him the song:

Enjoy.

@Wave_Bandana

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Elite – Last Round/Crabs in a Bucket (VIDEO)

ELITE ELITE ELITE!!!

The big homie Elite dropped this video this morning. I’m pretty sure he was the editor + director and yupp he’s his own boss (that’s a Kreayshawn reference for those who didn’t get it). Shit is dope man. I love when artists give you a peak into their real life in their videos. Who hasn’t drank way too many forties, crushed handfulls of potato chips and then fell and got stuck between signs? I HAVE. Fuck with it. Dreamville shit.

@oakshades

PS. Do yourself a favor and bump Awaken. You need a little Elite in your life.

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