As you #DreamVille #Fiends know, Bas and @OakShades are out on the Dollar and a Dream Tour which kicked off last night. Those fuckers left me behind to hold down NYC and the internet. I’ll be putting up footage soon. The video Bas sent me last night of Miami looked like someone filmed it on the first camera cell phone ever. Some 2003 LG/Nokia/Sidekick shit. Seriously fiends what was good with that?
Bas said the videographer is putting something together now. So look out for that fiends. Because I heard the show was fucking CRAZY. Bas and Cole both killed it (twice).
Every morning I wake up, I feel like absolute shit. Either I was out hammered drunk, fiending at 4am, or I was up mookin my face off with the Fiends. Either way, I wake up feeling like a piece of shit and depressed as hell that I have to go to work.
But I’m an ultimo fiend. So I suck it up and get my shit together. I sprint to get ready since I’m always a solid hour late (I respect #FiendTime, not the U.S. Gov’s clock). Then with blurred vision, I make my way to the subway station with a cigarette dangling from my lips. I’m usually greeted by hordes of people coming up the Subway entrance, meaning I just missed the train and now you can tack on another 10-15 mins.
But it doesn’t matter. Because this is the start of my happy time. No matter how shitty I feel, I know that for those 15-20 mins that I commute to work I can put my headphones on an escape all this shit with music. It’s the one time I can just be in my own world and get my mind right for the day. It keeps my sanity. Sometimes, it’s my only real moment of happiness for the whole day until I can mook again. It’s absolutely crucial I have this time to just loose myself in the music.
But at least once a week, today being that day, I reach into my pocket and pull out this shit. My headphones with a missing earbud. There is no bigger kick in the dick (or Vagina for the ladies) during my morning commute than pulling out headphones with a missing earbud. You could literally kick me in the dick, rob me, push me into a puddle of mud, and it wouldn’t be worse than not having that earbud for the morning commute. It’s stealing my little bit of happiness for the day.
I can’t tell you how close I was to jumping in front of that train today when I saw this shit. Because you know when you finally get out of work and get that freedom, the first thing you are gonna realize is you don’t have headphone earbuds all over again.
Ever since @oakshades posted that article about Dunkin Donuts coming out with breakfast sandwiches on glazed donuts I’ve been craving that shit. Last night, Fiend Geo and I went to take out a bunch of trash bags from the weekend. In the 30 seconds it took to do that we decided to pick up 2 XL Digiorno Pizzas and these suckers at Dunkin’ Donuts. Then something amazing happened.
They actually ran out of glazed Donuts after I ordered. They could only make one. Fiend Geo wasn’t having that shit at all. He started arguing trying get them to make it on a chocolate glazed donut. Apparently, this is like heavily against Dunkin’ Donuts protocol. The 2 workers were freaking the fuck out. Yelling at each other in another language, then yelling at us. Geo fought them for mad long and didn’t back down.
It was a pretty crazy scene, even for a fiended out NYC Dunkin’ Donuts at midnight on a weeknight. The workers had another heated exchange in another language and then finally gave in.
You are now looking at the freak, taboo, Chocolate Frosted Donut – Sausage, Egg & Cheese. We broke the rules of Dunkin’ Donuts, this shit is illegal baby. This would be like if Taco Bell gave us a Cool Ranch Locos Taco back when they only had the regular Doritos ones.
PS – Oh. This shit was delicious. I’m not kidding. The regular glazed one is amazing too. I don’t know how but it just works. It’s not too sweet and sugary or anything. I can’t stress enough how good it is.
But at the same time I feel like absolute shit and I think I had a mini heart attack. Don’t ever eat this combo late at nigh:
Another fiend weekend from Hell. I feel so bad for the future SMF grandchildren. Each weekend we take another year off our lives and thus another major milestone in our grandchildren’s’ lives will be missed. They are going to be the kids at graduation with mad extra tickets because they have no grandparents to give them shits to.
2 quick notes on the weekend:
While blacked out we randomly found this fiend @DizNiz32‘s drivers license in the middle of the Jersey Shore on the street. He was there last weekend. Not sure what this fiend has been driving around with the whole last week, but what a #FiendMiracle.
Fiend Lu almost burnt the shore house down and killed us all because he was playing with candles at 5am. Literally goes against everything you have ever been taught about fire safety. Thankfully it was a failed arsone attempt but he instead settled for ruining the rug forever:
We look at the people on TV and the radio and expect them to be bigger then us. We put them on this pedestal. We shower them with attention and money. Some treat them as gods. Miguel is a real ass dude. He bleeds just like I do. He is so talented but he doesn’t see it as a reason to talk down to someone or treat someone like shit. This story was dope. It might be my favorite one so far.
New York Senate Bill 2402 would effectively make it a class E felony to “annoy” so-called peace officers.
The bill, in part, reads:
A PERSON IS GUILTY OF AGGRAVATED HARASSMENT OF A POLICE OFFICER OR PEACE OFFICER WHEN, WITH THE INTENT TO HARASS, ANNOY, THREATEN OR ALARM A PERSON WHOM HE OR SHE KNOWS OR REASONABLY SHOULD KNOW TO BE A POLICE OFFICER OR PEACE OFFICER ENGAGED IN THE COURSE OF PERFORMING HIS OR HER OFFICIAL DUTIES, HE OR SHE STRIKES, SHOVES, KICKS OR OTHERWISE SUBJECTS SUCH PERSON TO PHYSICAL CONTACT.
YOOOOOOOOOOO!This is ridiculous. I feel like I annoy cops just by being in their vicinity. I’m a huge black dude that looks pretty menacing at times. FOUR FUCKING YEARS???? This is crazy. This gives the cops the green light to arrest anyone and just lie in regards to why they have been arrested. If a cop tries to stop and frisk me right now, I’m gonna hit this nigga with a shit ton of educated talk. You know what that would do to a cop? ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF HIM. I get pushed. I mouth off. I get pushed again. I swat away a hand. BAM. Felony. This is fucking bugged out. This is pretty much a greenlight for cops to become even bigger bullies then they are right now. This shit better not pass.
I woulda bet every cent I have on the fact that these students were some hoodrats from BK. An all Jewish set?? What the fuck?
Student Jonathan Zehavi said he felt they were targeted because they are an identifiably Jewish group. “They treated us like we were terrorists; I’ve never seen anything like it. I’m not someone to make these kinds of statements,” Zehavi said. “I think if it was a group of non-religious kids, the air stewardess wouldn’t have dared to kick them off.”
I’m sorry. Come again? Racists? This shit is so fucking funny. This is a classic white kids gone wild kinda scenario. Terrible. Fucking kids. You young high school mugs need to grow the fuck up. Yeshiva in Flatbush. HAHAHAHAAHAHAH. This shit is too funny to me man.
I peeped this yesterday and didn’t think it was funny enough to post on it’s own … but then as I was taking a huge dump this am reading the interwebs and shit, I peeped a huge article talking about how weird it is for grownups to use Butt Wipes. I don’t think that shit is weird at all. I’ve been wiping my own ass for like what 23 or 24 years now. Shit is gross man. No ifs ands or … BUTTs about it (that pun was so intended that I’m kinda embarrassed at how corny it was). Butt wipe proponents will hit you with the, “you don’t clean your body with dry paper do you?” arguement whenever this convo comes up. They’re 100% correct. We wouldn’t go run a few miles and then pat ourselves dry with TP. We’d hop in the shower lather up and make sure we don’t smell like shit. Why should my butthole deserve worse treatment? That being said. I’m not paying for buttwipes until I have a baby. I will use the fuck outta some buttwipes tho. And if the Dollar Shave Club homies are reading this. Send me some buttwipes and I’ll report back to the fiends on how fire/not fire they are. Long story short. Clean your buttholes people. You never know when you’re gonna get your next rimjob.
Aight. So I’m torn on this shit. First thing … HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I watched this video and just laughed from start to end. I love the VO of the reporter telling the story. Her running away in that ridiculous Barney dress in high heels as the pitbulls just run around her snapping at her mic. That shit is priceless. She is so scared and so sad. Too funny. Fucked up? Yea. You can’t do this ma. Throw the rocks. Threaten with the bat. Don’t send your animals to bite the fucking news reporter. That’s how you end up in jail and they end up put to sleep. This shit should be illegal tho. You shouldn’t be allowed to run up on someone’s property with a news crew like that. You also shouldn’t be a sloppy mess who apparently hates white people and uses her pets as weapons. This is ‘Murica at it’s finest.
I love shit like this. Just further indication that we Americans can’t really agree on anything. Now some of these are kind of obvious, and you can see all of them here. It’s obvious almost every Super Mookin Fiend will ride with the northeast deviation, especially when you look above and that of course the correct term here is “soda.” I mean, these chickens do love soda after all.
Another obvious one below:
Okay, I guess I see you upstate New York. Anyone else is just down that Carmel is the car service with the 666-6666 jingle and carra-mel is the stuff in your Milky Way. Fine, I guess I don’t really care how you pronounce this. I find these interesting and all, but truthfully I don’t care about most. All Americans are pronouncing “pecan” differently. Who gives a shit about how we say “bowie knife.” Of course the south runs with “y’all” while many others go with “you guys.” Apparently New England runs with “rotary” instead of “traffic circle” and middle America…well I guess they don’t have roads or something because they don’t have a name for it.