Just last week I was having a convo with one of the #fiends about how the fuck we’re gonna shelter our children from the terrible terrible world we call society. We couldn’t come to an answer but this is def gonna be one of my parenting tricks.
Are you shitting me with this video? I’m not a treehugger. I’m not a PETA freak but once I got too high and went to the Central Park Zoo on a school field trip and realized that the Zoo is fucking animal prison. Fucking sad man. That could be us with some fucking dumb advanced alien with a shit accent making fun of our plight to escape.
Forget the usual pro-mook jargon — the prison industrial complexes, William Randolph Hearst, the timbre industry and Reefer Madness…this is about Michael Phelps entering the all-time stoner pantheon. He was there already, but now he’s THE MOST DECORATED OLYMPIAN OF ALL TIME.
And all this makes me think is that if you’re the kind of person that really thinks Michael Phelps should be demonized, criminalized or ostracized for sucking down on a nice looking piece of glass and huffing — just kill yourself. When you go out there and win 19 medals (with potential for several more) across four Olympics games, then you can judge. The only person worse than these kind of people is the dude that snapped that photo of Phelps ripping that binger. WHO THE FUCK is burning with an American legend at a party and thinks “oh shit, better snap a photo and sell it!” over “HOLY SHIT, I’m smoking with Michael Phelps, let me sprinkle some kief on top of this pack and get it cracking!” What an asshole. But he’s .001% saint because it revealed a pothead hero to the fiend masses.
I still love Joe Rogan’s open letter to Kellogg’s after they dropped Phelps due to the fact that he smoked weed. How else is Phelps supposed to pretend that Subway actually makes edible food in those commercials? As Rogan perfectly summarizes: “you guys sell sugar-drenched shit that’s horrible for your body – in fact, it’s actually way worse for your body than pot – and you market this shit specifically to children. You assholes go as far as putting lovable cartoon characters on the boxes just so that kids will beg their parents for it.” Was right in 2009, still right now.
For a guy who has had almost his entire life revolve around swimming and representing American dominance on a global stage, toke up all the fuck you want. His (tape-delayed) interview with Bob Costas last night was one of the most depressing things I’ve seen in a while. Costas just prodding and prodding — you didn’t train as much as you did in 2008, you aren’t as young as you were, you lost that 200m butterfly by half a cock’s length — so on and so forth. Phelps entire demeanor was just “I don’t give a fuck anymore dude” with a side of “can’t wait for this to be over.” And you can’t blame him. Just let this man smoke and chill for the rest of his life. He’s earned it.
PS: From one mook fiend to another…
***Wave Bandana Update***
Yo, real talk I ONLY like dude cause he mooks. Swimming is wack as hell. If he didn’t get caught mookin I wouldn’t even know who he was.
There is not one swimmer in mankind history that could knock me out. Swimmers and the sport gets no love from me. But mugs that mook and excel and shit get mad love.
Not in a sexual way… unless you bad as fuck (or decent, i’ll take decent)… but moreso in a gotta stop doing drugs and not eating or sleeping kind of way. You see this dude in this picture? If that was a lightskinned black dude, sleeping at a desk in front of a computer that would be what I’m doing right now cause I scheduled this post at around 11:34 and am now slowly dying… I mean napping.
So I’m sitting at my desk minding my own business watching an Elephant drinking out of a random Swimming Pool when I saw this ad to my right of my screen.
Have you ever heard of Berocca? Well I hadn’t ever heard of them either until I washed down some drugs with that shit this weekend. Now is the Illuminati telling these brands who to market to or is Google Chrome the creepiest shit in the world and targeting me specifically cause I’ve done nothing but talk about Catalpa and being mad fucking tired online today?
The NFL has confirmed a woman will be among the group of referees used as replacements during the current lockout of NFL officials.
Shannon Eastin could be the woman. She worked the Arizona Cardinals Red and White game and was named by the Los Angeles Times as one of the referees at an NFL training clinic.
A woman has never officiated an NFL game in an on-field capacity. Last year the NFL said there were several women in the pipeline. When Carl Johnson, the NFL’s head of officials, was asked about the potential of adding a woman to the roster last year, he said it would happen soon.
“Our goal is to get the best people working this game,” Johnson said.
Eastin has officiated college games for over a decade, most recently in the Mid-Eastern Athletic Conference. The league is not officially confirming individual referees, and is not making any replacements available to the media.
You know what I find to be some of the funniest shit ever in professional sports? Watching a dude in a tweak ass funny outfit run around on a field with some of the largest individuals on the planet trying not to get laid the fuck out. You know what I enjoy even more? When those dudes get laid the fuck out. And now you’re gonna let a woman be a NFL ref?
Yea that’s gonna end well.
PPS. Funny thing about that play is that this was the Sunday after I had surgery and I jumped up as Sean Ellis scored this TD cause we were getting busted… which led to all my stitches ripping open and me bleeding everywhere.