Friday Fiend of the Week: The Perfect Molly

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I have this fucking certified #fiend of a friend, let’s just call him “Fiend L” to protect his legal name.

Basically this fiend bought a whole bunch of molly for some EDM show this weekend. He was all excited talking about how he found the best Molly connect and all this bullshit all week long. He put together a little fiend bag of all the Mollies and a bunch of other terrible pills. Wrapped it all up nice and put it in his pocket.

BUT…this fucking idiot washed his pants in the laundry with all the pills still in his pants. However, what happened next is either  a death sentence or miracle of modern science.

The pills all mixed together with laundry detergent and basically formed one giant super molly pill. AKA, the perfect molly. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s literally a perfect circular ball of molly, Tide, and whatever other fucking fiend pills he had. It’s actually a beautiful sight to see. I don’t even understand how it’s physically possible. It’s the perfect Molly.

So of course Fiend L is going against every recommendation in medical history and heavily contemplating taking the perfect molly at this show this weekend. This has become a pretty polarizing topic amongst The Super Mookin’ Fiends. Half of us think he’s 100% going to die. The other half think it’s going to be the best night of his life.

I know Fiend L the best. I can promise you this moron is going to take it. Regardless, just being the protagonist in this story makes you the Friday Fiend of the Week.

@Wave_Bandana / Blogs

PS – I will report back on this after we see if he lives or dies.

PS – Would you take, “the perfect molly”?

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Genius: The Beer Turnstile Antarctica AlmapBBDO

During the Carnival in Rio de Janeiro, the high consumption of alcoholic drinks is the main responsible factor for the increase in traffic accidents. Drunk drivers are directly involved in the increase of 50% of fatal accidents during this time of the year.

Antarctica’s objective, the most consumed beer brand and sponsor of the event, was to make its consumers arrive safely at home after drinking.

We developed The Beer Turnstile. At a subway station near the areas where street carnival groups gathered, Antarctica set up turnstiles that would accept empty beer cans instead of subway tickets. Optical reading recognizes the empty beer can and allows the party-goer to access the subway. The beer cans collected were donated to a recycling organization. VIA

If you read any of my shit before, you know I love marketing, but I fucking HATE shitty anti- drinking/smoking/drugs/fiend campaigns. (See: Above The Influence / We Rise Together – Holy Shit, Worst Anti Drug Commercial Yet)

This shit right here…this is the shit that restores my faith in humanity. Straight genius.

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Why I Don’t Think Smoking Sour Will Be Legal In Our Lifetime

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With more and more states decriminalizing marijuana and adding dispensaries from coast to coast, a lot of people believe we’re on the cusp of a legal weed era in the United States.  Unfortunately, I’m not convinced we will ever see that in our lifetime.

I always hear so many fucking stoners say the same shit, “they need to make that shit legal and just TAX it. The government would make so much money, it’s a win-win”.  I’m so fucking tired of all this shit and all these documentaries trying to debunk myths.

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Is This Good … Or The Softest Shit Ever?

Half of me is like yea I guess this isn’t a bad thing. Parents notoriously are fucking terrible when it comes to sports. And the worst part about the terrible parents is that they are all different variations of the following:

1. My Kid Is The Best – This dude. His kid can do no wrong. He doesn’t ever yell at his kid, he yells at everyone else tho. EVEN HIS KID’S TEAMMATES. Pass it to Johnny. Johnny is wide open. You gotta help Johnny. SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE YOU MAKE JOHNNY PERSONA NON GRATTA YOU FAT FUCK. I knew this kid who was a sick hooper. Could windmill. Could shoot 30 footers. But his dad was so insufferable his entire team HATED him. He had this built in I’m the best attitude that could only be fostered if you were raised by someone telling you that you were the best and that you were entitled to the ball at every moment and you did nothing wrong ever. This nigga got peed on in the showers. STRAIGHT UP. His dad fucked his head up so bad, that everyone hated him and even though he was the best player… he got peed on in the shower.

2. The Loud Mom – Probably the most embarrassing parent cause she means well but she sounds retarded. You know that ‘score a touchdown baby’ moment during a basketball game from like cheesy movies? My mom did that once and the entire gym laughed at me. My mom is white as shit. I’m a 9 year old light skin black kid. The whole crowd looked around for like 12 seconds till they realized my team was looking at me kinda giggling and then BAM the whole gym is laughing at me. It was like an episode of One Tree Hill. Shit was embarrassing as fuck. Loud Moms can also be vicious as fuck. Dudes learn how to shit talk while playing sports growing up. We also know what it feels like to be 10 and having someone scream at them. In my experience playing and coaching, the rudest shit is always screamed by women.

3. The Vicarious Athlete – This motherfucker. I’m gonna have to do everything in my power to not be this dude. I’m a bum. I had hoop dreams. Those dreams were worthless. I shoulda been learning how to code. I shoulda never gave up the piano and Fruity Loops. So naturally when my son or daughter takes an interest in sports I’m gonna try and Tiger Wood the shit outta them. BUT, you don’t wanna be that father. The one who charts every shot and screams at the kid for failing. The dad who loves the game more then the kid does. I don’t wanna be this guy. I probably gonna be this guy.

4. The Dead Beat – Don’t be the drunk parent. Don’t be the parent that doesn’t show up. Don’t be the parent that doesn’t care. It’s that simple. We’ve all seen it. It’s awful.

Anyway so yea this sign is a good thing but shit these lil kids growing up these days are soft as fuck. My sister was nasty at hoops but she was even better at getting in bitches’ heads. She was like Ron Artest shit was hysterical. She got a Technical Foul for telling a girl that her mommy doesn’t love her cause she misses layups. The girl cried on the court. I was dying laughing. Some of the meanest shit has been said to me during sports but I’ve brushed it off. It made me learn that people can flip on/off the nasty. But yea I guess as a whole there are probably more kids that can’t handle being called a Nigger during a football game vs those who can.

@oakshades

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MATRIX

‘I’M TRYING TO FREE YOUR MIND, NEO. BUT I CAN ONLY SHOW YOU THE DOOR. YOU’RE THE ONE THAT HAS TO WALK THROUGH IT.’

The Matrix 1999

VIA

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Hennessy X Medical Mook

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Who’s trying to fuck with it?

– The Super Mookin’ Fiends

VIA

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4 Bitches Almost Destroy A Dude’s Life Over $14

JAIL.

Lock these fucking hoes up. No country for false rape accusations. This is terrible. I literally felt my balls try and crawl up into my stomach as I watched that. Can you imagine if this dude really didn’t have a camera on deck? Immediately the cops are hostile. He woulda got thrown around. No matter what he said to anyone everyone woulda been thinking that this nigga was a creep. These bitches should do time. If you claim rape and there was no rape committed, you should do the same time as someone who rapes someone. That shit is not a joke and that’s how you get it into a society’s head that it’s unacceptable to lie about that shit.

@oakshades

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Does @Oakshades Owe Me Free Mook for a Year?

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So here’s the situation.

When any major sports franchise moves into the same “territory” or general market region as another established pro team they have to pay what’s dubbed as “territorial rights”.

For instance back in the late 70s when the Nets moved to NJ they had to pay the Knicks $3 million for “invading the Knick’s market”. Makes perfect sense to me. The basketball market share in the Tri-state area becomes diluted and the Knicks will inevitably lose business to the Nets no matter how big or small. It’s an invasion of their market because the league was designed for teams to be geographically spaced out better. This concept applies to many industries beyond sports. The Knicks/Nets case study is just one of the most famous basketball examples because the Nets ended up having to sell Dr. J in his prime to Philly to cover the $3 Million  fee.

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Pipes

Some fiend posted this on Reddit this morning. Says nobody knows what it is because he lives in fucking China. But the internet knows all so a random homie jaggazz, posted the following response shortly after:

“True Story: I used to work for a medical device company that had 2 buildings separated by a parking lot. We tested a lot of products on cows blood. I’m talking sometimes 50 gallons a week. The EPA allowed us to dump it down the drains in the sinks.
Now in the other building, we had a manufacturing plant that made a product that had a primary ingredient of 30% Hydrogen peroxide. They were allowed to dump excess down the drain as well. Where the two sewer systems met in the parking lot (on more than a few occasions), blood + concentrated H2O2 blew manhole covers off, and oozed a nasty white foam such as this. It looked identical to OPs picture. Not saying that’s what this is, but that is immediately what I thought of.”

Then someone posted this video explaining the chemical reaction that was occuring.

Then came at jaggazz’ neck for either being lied to/making up his story…

I doubt that this story is true, insofar as it implicates permission from the US EPA. Ultimately, it is not the EPA that allows disposal of medical wastes, but a state’s environmental regulatory agency. I happen to work for my state’s environmental regulatory agency and there is NO WAY IN HELL OP’s facility would be permitted to allow dumping of cow blood into the municipal sewer system. It is also suspect that such an agency would allow the dumping of medical wastes in such high quantities that it could react with the wastes disposed by an adjacent facility. My agency takes into account all point sources in an area in order to determine limits on waste disposal from a point source.
What’s more, no such dumping would have been allowed since the enactment of the clean water act (which is also, basically, the creation of the modern iteration of the EPA). That’s more than 40 years of point source regulation. So either this facility was dumping illegally, or this story is total bullshit.

The reason I posted this is cause I just took a shower and then drank water right from the tap. Then I started thinking about how old my apartment building must be. That led to me thinking about the pipes. Then I realized that there is literally no way to change all the piping in a huge complex of buildings like the one I live in. Then I realized I was drinking from pipes that are probably like 80 years old. Then I realized that smoking weed and thinking about shit like this can really be an issue. Not only do I not know if Con Edison down the block is dumping whatever fucking chemicals they use to keep half of manhattan with power into the water … HOW FUCKING DISGUSTING MUST EVERY PIPE IN NYC BE? There’s prolly humongous king rats posting up. And roaches. Lead poisoning. I need a brand new crib with brand new pipes. We gotta make it. I gotta buy these pipes.

Fuck.

@oakshades

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My Fucking Dude…

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@Oakshades, can we get this design for SMF Merch?

This is the hardest Tee in the game right now.

@Wave_Bandana / Blogs

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