Mike Shanahan may not yet be in midseason form, as he was injured Monday in a collision with two players. The hit left the coach “a little woozy,” according to a team spokesman. … As the Redskins neared the end of their first practice session of the offseason, the team began 7-on-7 drills. Quarterback Robert Griffin III unleashed a long pass intended for receiver Pierre Garson near the 50-yard line of their indoor practice facility, and both the wideout and cornerback Brandyn Thompson went up for the ball. Shanahan was standing with his back to the play, watching other drills. Garson and Thompson both collided with the coach as they tumbled to the ground, and Shanahan lay motionless on the field for several minutes.
The Washington Post
This shit bugged me the fuck out this morning. Not sure if everyone will find it as funny as me, this one line killed me:
…and Shanahan lay motionless on the field for several minutes.
I just could visualize this so perfectly. The whole field buzzing with the start of camp. All the noise and chatter that comes with the first NFL practice of the year. Everyone watching is suspense as the new superstar rookie QB throws a bomb to their newly acquired receiver and then…BOOM. Old ass coach gets knocked the fuck out and everyone is standing their looking around with that expression of silently mouthing “ooooooooo”.
You know that moment/expression? The same one Johnny Knoxville makes when someone actually gets hurt in Jackass? It’s like almost a half laugh, half ”Oh” face. I could just picture all the Redskins standing around looking at each other making that face, trying not to laugh, but actually wondering if their coach who isn’t moving is dead.
I love those moments. My favorite one ever was when I was wrestling with my little sister when we were mad young. I was old enough at that point where I already learned growing up with bitches isn’t fair. Shit used to blow my mind though, I could not figure out why my sister could hit me and I couldn’t hit her back for the longest time.
Anyway, I was old enough to know that, but I still didn’t have the greatest grasp on my strength vs. hers. I remember so clearly, she went for some kind of makeshift chick clothesline and I ducked that shit and caught her right in the rock bottom setup. I then delivered one of the most text-book, viscous rock bottoms of all time. From an execution standpoint it was perfection. Like she was fully horizontal in the air, looked just like the most dramatic one ever from Wrestlemania.
Her head hit the concrete floor so fucking hard and she was out cold. I mean really out cold, motionless and actually unconscious.
I just remembered standing there really thinking she was dead. There was no chance she was alive. She wouldn’t move no matter how hard I tried to wake her. This is how I know what a sick bastard I am, because I was like 10 and actually thinking about how I would hide the body and who I could blame so my Mom wouldn’t yell at me.
I was about to like push her under the sofa or something and miraculously she popped up. She was mad cool about it too, wasn’t even mad, just sprung up happy as shit and started wrestling again.
I’m glad i didn’t kill you son, I love you.
PS – YO! I think this dude Shanahan might be down or even a low-key Super Mookin Fiend! Look at him dapping RG3 and these: