Mitt Romney is Faking Dumb

Affluent Imagineer Mitt Romney has some exciting new proposals for the future of airplane design, according to some remarks he made to the L. A. Times at a fundraiser in Beverly Hills Saturday Night.

Romney was quoted in the Times speaking about his chevalier Ann’s brush with danger last week, when a plane on which she was a passenger was forced to make an emergency landing after an electrical fire caused the cabin to fill with smoke.

“When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no – and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous.”

Also very dangerous: installing roll-down windows in airplanes, the cabins of which depend upon precise levels of air pressurization to keep passengers and crew members from passing out due to lack of oxygen.

Who knew the Kingdom of Clouds could be such a frightening place?

This was sent to me by one of my homegirls Nisey. At this point it’s obvious that the GOP 100% wanted no parts in this election as well as the last one. Obviously they planned for the economy of the world to go in the shitter towards the end of Dubya’s watch. They place strategic bets on shit that they know will guap them up while fucking us over. Meanwhile you distract everyone with Hope and Change by literally putting the first black president in office. Now you might be sitting there saying come on D. There’s no way that in a country that heralds democracy and freedom and shit, there wouldn’t be a group of super super rich mugs that have been 100% controlling everything from the laws that are made every day to who becomes president. I’d probably laugh and tell you to go read about the FED and how it’s not owned by the US and how we have to pay them to print our money. Then I might tell you to read about lobbying and send you a copy of The Union so you could understand how deep something like weed being illegal actually is. Then I’d ask you who the GOP put up against the smoothest presidential candidate of all time… OF ALL TIME. You’d realize that they put up a 75 year old war vet and a 40 year old ditz with huge tits that fucked Glenn Rice and then followed it with a part Mexican Mormon iBanker and his homie who hates gays, thinks bitches can reject pregnancies with their minds and hates the internet all while being called the most conservative nominee since the 1900s.

American politics is a bigger joke the NFL’s replacement refs. All we can hope for is that Obama goes all #YOLO on these niggas in his last two terms, bails out everyone and makes mook legal.

@oakshades

PS. IF THESE NIGGAS STRAIGHT THUGIFY AND JUXE THIS ELECTION I’M DEADASS MOVING TO EITHER CANADA OR AMSTERDAM.
PPS. Really tho bro? You don’t understand why windows cannot be opened in an airplane? This is the dude that should be making decisions for THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?

VIA

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NFL Replacement Refs

YO I LOVE THE REPLACEMENT REFS!!!!

You straight up don’t know what the fuck is going to happen at any moment during a game. If you’re a self loathing masochist like I am, then you might be a NY Jets fan. If you’re a self loathing Jets fan then you know the feeling of watching a QB drop back and not know what the fuck is going to happen. A defensive end could fly around the right side and murder Mark Sanchez… Sanchez could drop back and throw the ball directly into the arms of a wide open Strong Safety… Dustin Keller could catch a 2 yard out or the ball could bounce off his helmet into the air where Tebow catches it and runs for a 70 yard touchdown. There is never any continuity, and as much as it sucks, it’s pretty exciting and nerve wracking. NOW ADD FAKE ASS REFS WHO ARE AFRAID OF EVERYONE. Literally they are shook by the players, the coaches, the TV crew and the fans. My season is over so you know what I’m rooting for? Moments like this:

Are you kidding me? The Packers, the mighty Packers with Clay Matthews and Discount Double Checking Aaron Rodgers were favored by a 3.5 (-3.5) over the Seahawks last night for Monday Night Football. For the ladies and homies who don’t gamble this means that everyone in the world thought that they were going to win by at least 4 points. Over 70% of the gambling action on the game was on the Packers. Vegas always knows. I don’t know how. But they always do. I think one of two things is feasible. Time travel + Almanac OR all of pro sports is completely fixed. So when gambling fiends like myself or moreso like wave see lines like Seahawks +3.5 (means they are supposed to lose by at least 4… + = underdog and – equals favorite) our heads start spinning. Me? I stayed away. Seattle is a notoriously hard city to play in and for some weird reason the Packers did nothing to help their defense and their offensive line is god awful. Wave bet on the Packers even though our entire SMF Pick Em Pool needed the Seahawks to push the pot over to next week. So how many fiends out in the world got burned on that last play like Wave did? How much guap was lost as Golden Tate hung onto one corner of that football after dropkicking a DB away from the jumpball? $9.2 million in Las Vegas and wait for it… the worldwide number could be anywhere from $150 million to $250 million.

EITHER GOODDELL IS JUST THROWING GAMES TO LINE HIS POCKETS or this is just a huge experiment. It’s literally like Madden out there. You never know what call is gonna be made. I love it. I love the physicality of the DBs on wide receivers. You know how you stop concussions? You stop wide open receivers flying across the middle cause you’re not allowed to touch them coming out of their breaks. Shit should be like NFL Blitz. DBs should be able to straight up wash the WRs off the field within 10 feet of the line of scrimmage. I love that if you’re not paying attention they might give the offense an extra 12 yards on a spot. STAY ON YOUR TIPPY TOES ASSISTANT COACHES. The phantom drive extending Pass Interferences that are back breakers! Field Goals that are kinda not really field goals!!!! I LOVE IT.

Right now on Twitter the following are trending in order: Roger Goodell; Jerry Jones; Tate; NFL; Iran. This shit is awesome. I love the NFL.

@oakshades

PS. My mom was talking about the replacement refs on Sunday. The gay dude in my office is currently talking about how sad he was to see that cutie pie from the State Farm commercial sad on TV. FOUR NFL RELATED THINGS ARE TRENDING OVER IRAN RIGHT NOW. IRAN. NUKES AND POLITICS IS IN A SOLID 5TH PLACE AMONGST AMERICAN CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW IN FAVOR OF TOUCHDOWNINTERCEPTIONGATE.

VIA

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I Fuck So Hard With This Rihanna “Diamonds” Artwork

Rihanna released her new single “Diamonds” yesterday along with this accompanying artwork.  

This is without question the best single artwork from a female artist I’ve ever seen. That includes some of those late 90s albums and early 2000s mixtapes that were almost pornos.

Everyone that has met Rihanna said she was the dopest. With shit like this I can see why. Fucking Diamonds in dutch? What an awesome fiend idea for an image. I’m in love with this artwork.

And her.

@Wave_Bandana

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Tomorrowland 2012

If you don’t understand the whole EDM/Techno/PLUR/Molly wave. Just watch this shit. If you still don’t understand it then I don’t know what the fuck to tell you. The #fiends are going to this next year. Lowkey I’m gonna try and put together a 50 person movement out to Europe for this. Be there or be really upset you weren’t there and it didn’t change your life.

@oakshades

PS. Get outside of your fucking routine everyday existence. Push your comfort levels. Do something different. <== That’s living life. Real Lives of Ratchet Housewives ATL isn’t life.

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Juicy J – Bandz A Make Her Dance (VIDEO)

Easily the song of the summer in my opinion. I fucking love this song and it’s the only song in my iTunes that I immediately run back at least one time as of right now. That being said… damn I wish the video was way more epic. Why will nobody go where Nelly once went?

@oakshades

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Big White Kid Goin Ham To Lil Mouse

I’ve never in my life seen a bigger potential start then this dude. Are you kidding me with these moves? My favorite part about this video is that this is Hip-Hop people! We transcended so many boundaries that these lil white homies feel 100% cool with screaming the Nword and shimmying in front of webcams. I fucking love it.

@oakshades

PS. Shouts to Amin for sending me this video. If I don’t shoot a music video with this nigga as the star then I suck monkey dick.

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How Booze Built America

In 20 years me, Wave and Bas are gonna be the hosts of ‘How Weed Built America’.

@oakshades

PS. Mad upsetting that grown ass individuals cannot look at this and everyother obvious reason for weed being illegal and draw the obvious connections.

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The Art of Web Design

I spent so many goddamn hours working on lefty post moves thinking that I was gonna be in the League when I shoulda been learning HTML. I cannot believe how much goes into designing a fire ass website. You see the blog. What does it look like? It looks like a fucking 13 year old’s xanga from 2002. I’m a grown ass man with a decent job and we haven’t been able to find the right person to fix the blog for over a year and a half. Shit is no joke.

@oakshades

PS. Seriously tho don’t make your kids learn useless tennis techniques or some other bullshit. Teach those niggas to code.

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Sorting Posts

We’re getting a new design and since we started this shit as a joke/ a way to kill time at work we never fucking put any thought into organization but now since we have a bigger audience and shit I guess it’s time to not be so jank as fuck. I’m currently sorting thru 2 years of me bitching and wave talking about dick pictures. FUNTIMES.

@oakshades

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NEW LIFE GOAL

First unveiled at a trade show in Basel, Switzerland a few weeks ago, the shower looks like a tanning bed mounted to the wall, but features an array of showerheads controlled by the company’s Ambiance Tuning Technique system. Think of it as an inverted version of the Bellagio’s fountains, as the various showerheads can be programmed and choreographed to cycle through different intensities and water temperatures.

If I don’t have sex in this horizontal shower before I die, I did not make my dreams come true. There’s only a few things I need to do before I die.

1. Purchase this shower and fuck a dirty smutbag in it
2. Mets/Jets/Knicks Season Tickets (Boxes for Mets and Jets, hopefully courtside for Knicks)
3. Set up all the Fiends with cushy jobs
4. Completely demolish Bill O’Reily ala the way Cam did
5. Be a good father

@oakshades

PS. SOMEONE BUY ME THIS FUCKING SHOWER

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