Jay-Z’s New Cognac – First Print Ad

So the Hip-Hop world is buzzing about Hov’s new cognac… zzzzzzzzzzzzz Me, Wave and Bas sipped on this shit like 6 months ago in the studio.

@oakshades

PS. STUNT POST.

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Mitt Romney Doesn’t Want You To Jerk Off, Hates Freedom

“I want to make sure every new computer sold in this country, after I’m president, has installed on it a filter to block all pornography.”

Ha.

This is a few months old but it needs repeating. During his 2007 presidential run, Mitt Romney claimed he would ensure that all new computers came with a filter to block pornography. Now whether or not he meant this as an on/off switch or a literal super-mega-smut-smacker-blocker is up for debate. Windows and Mac already come with this shit anyway — it’s called parental controls, or Bess, or whatever other stupid thing fucked up your elementary school’s internet. But finding that site that got by the filter was glorious. For my friends and I it was FindSome.com or SmokeBombs.com. Just a fucking beaver or girl blowing smoke on a guys weiner came up in your grill and sent your prepubescent mind spinning. Who could keep it open longest in the 4th grade computer lab? Totally reckless danger. I’m surprised “Highway To The Dangerzone” wasn’t blasting over us.

But it’s not really up for debate with Romney. Dude has admitted he’s taken one puff of a cigarette and one sip of alcohol as a wayward youth.  So the real question becomes: does Romney watch porn? More importantly, does he beat off at all?

As far as I know, there’s nothing in the bylaws of our country that say someone cannot be president unless they jerk off at least twice a day. More pertinent to this conversation to me is the almighty “S:J” ratio, also known as the Smoke : J ratio. I guarantee everyone within a friends group will share a relatively similar number. Most people would be 1:1, which could also mean 5:5, or 10:10 (I think). On a good day, specifically a weekend, I’d like to think I can maintain a solid 5:2, or 2:1. I’m not even sure — the smoking number is subjective. What if it’s four blunts spaced out across a Super Smash Bros. for N64 marathon? Is that one or four? Either way, can our country be led by a man who not only has a zero to zero S:J ratio right now, but never had one to begin with?

Rick Santorum wanted to ban pornography, which is even more extreme. Apart from this being a completely retarded idea, it would literally be the hardest thing to enforce in the entire world. Some people treat their porn fandom like they would a classy drinking habit. They choose between an aged fine wine (Lisa Ann), a red ale (Faye Reagan) or a “Retired But Said Really, Really Crazy Shit On Twitter, Like Wanting To Fuck Her Dad” IPA (Bree Olson). Removing the intrinsically American freedom of allowing a frustrated guy who struck out at the bar to come home and open up 321 different tabs on YouPorn and Fapdu would mean the terrorists have won.

And we do not negotiate with terrorists.

-Droog

PS: Madison Ivy’s Tumblr is nothing but her being ass naked and smoking blunts, glass and holding up bags of weed. It’s out of this world. Possibly even out of this solar system.
PS II: Please look at the kids :40 seconds into this video. The one on the right is like “I knew my dad shouldn’t have forced me to join Young Republicans.”

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Denver Shooter James Holmes in Court

Here’s what bothers me…

As a 24 year old who makes approximately $55,000 a year as a Freelance Brand Strategist I have the following monthly expenses:

RENT $1400
WEED $200
FOOD $600
BILLS $200
OTHER $800-1000

MY POINT IS HOW THE FUCK DID THIS NIGGA AFFORD $20,000 IN GUNS AND OTHER CIVILIAN KILLING ARMY GRADE WEAPONS?

@oakshades

PS. Too many plotholes in this story.

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Minka Kelly Sex Tape

Minka Kelly is the latest in a long line of actresses to star in a sex tape that is now being peddled to the highest bidder … TMZ has learned … but there could be a big complication … because it’s possible Minka was a minor when it was shot.

The tape … which is 30-minutes long … was shot in New Mexico and features Minka with an ex-boyfriend.

The tape is shot in a semi-professional manner. The camera is secured by a tripod and hooked up to a TV monitor, so both Minka and the BF can watch the action they create. Minka is very aware of the camera.

It’s unclear how old Minka was when the tape was shot. Two songs from Brandy’s second album, “Never Say Never,” are playing in the background. The album was released on June 8, 1998 — 16 days before Minka’s 18th birthday. But one source questioned whether the song was added after the fact to make it appear she was over 18.

As for Minka, we put a call in to her rep. So far, no comment.

As for the claim the Brandy songs were added after the fact, that’s not possible, because we now know Minka is singing and dancing to the songs in the video.

Listen. Me and Wave literally had a pep talk the other day where we said we would never be a gossip site but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I NEED TO BEAT MY MEAT TO THIS SEX TAPE.

@oakshades

PS. Derek Jeter dumped her cause someone brought this to him and demanded cash to keep it off the streets. <=== 100% happened.

PPS. #TEAMNODAUGHTERS

VIA

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Bas – Teterboro (Feat. Elite)

#FiendFridays returns with another cut off of Bas’ upcoming project; Quarter Water Raised Me Vol. II. Bas is joined by fellow Dreamvillain, Elite, who also produced this track. I’ve always loved this one, I’m glad we can finally share it with you.

A little story behind this. Bas knows all these crazy people from his world travels and got invited along with the big homie Adam to a “Mushroom Tea Party”. Basically it’s a bunch of wild hipsters drinking shrooms and tripping the fuck out to crazy music and visuals. He said it was literally one of the weirdest moments in his life, but that’s a good story for another time. The point is while Bas was trippin out on boomers he kept hearing this tweak music over and over again. He wrote the name of the band down with shrooms still in the veins, went home, got super mooked and listen to the entire discography. This one Beats Antique track stood out and he immediately hit up Elite. A few days later Dreamville had another new record.

#FiendFridays

@oakshades

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Bas Feat. Elite – Teterboro (NEW MUSIC)

#FiendFridays returns with another cut off of Bas’ upcoming project; Quarter Water Raised Me Vol. II. Bas is joined by fellow Dreamvillain, Elite, who also produced this track.

I’ve always loved this one, I’m glad we can finally share it with you.

A little story behind this. Bas knows all these crazy people from his world travels and got invited along with the big homie Adam to a “Mushroom Tea Party”. Basically it’s a bunch of wild hipsters drinking shrooms and tripping the fuck out to crazy music and visuals. He said it was literally one of the weirdest moments in his life, but that’s a good story for another time. The point is while Bas was trippin out on boomers he kept hearing this tweak music over and over again. He wrote the name of the band down with shrooms still in the veins, went home, got super mooked and listen to the entire discography. This one Beats Antique track stood out and he immediately hit up Elite. A few days later Dreamville had another new record.

#FiendFridays

Download Links

MediaFire

Soundcloud

Zippy

@Wave_Bandana

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The NYPD Towing Company is a Bigger Goldmine Than a Casino

I’ll return with the conclusion to Legally Mook – A Fiend In Jury Duty a little later. For now I just wanna share a little observation I had late last night.

So this fiend Bas got his car towed last night. It’s 100% our fault. We were so mooked, we read the sign so wrong. I’m actually getting a little worried about mookin and our steadily declining reading comprehensions levels. Some of the Super Mookin’ Fiends are operating on a 3rd grade reading level from all this Grape Ape, Blue Dream, and Green Crack going around.. But as long as Bas can make music and me and @oakshades can come up with some good ideas I think we’ll be straight.

I never went to the car towing place before on 36th and 12th ave. That was one of those places I hoped to never go. But I was so mooked and all I had was Jury Duty the next day. So Bas talked me into that shit.

We decided to go at 2:30 am. Bas said that’s the best time because it’s the least crowded (only a fiend would know that). He was right, besides us there was just some couple. It was a dude that looked straight out of the Russian Mob and his girl. Some Grand Theft Auto 4 shit. He had a thick ass accent and was wearing some Cocaine Cowboys outfit from the 80s. Dude looked like a G.

He got to retrieve his car his car first so while we were waiting him and his girl walked by. That was the first chance we got to look at his girl because she was kinda hidden in the corner. She was a 5’11 absolute fucking DIME smoke show foreign model bitch. She had on what looked like a bikini bottom made out of jeans. Maybe the most outrageous outfit I’ve ever seen not on craigslist. Not only did you see her entire legs in heels up to her vagina, but when she walked by she had the fattest ass ever and it was literally almost fully exposed. Like it’s hard to describe, I’ve never seen some shit like this. There was more ass exposed than not. At least 70% of her ass was out. And she was CAKING too. Shit was juicy as hell literally gushing out of her shorts.

Bas and I sat there with our jaws on the ground. Like we couldn’t say anything to each other besides “what the fuck…”. Never in my life did I expect to see that. I can’t stress enough #1 how nice her booty cheeks were, and #2 how much of her cheeks were exposed. The last thing we expected to see at 2:30am at the towing station was some dime in some sort of hybrid hooker/stripper outfit. That was honestly worth the cost of admission alone. I would take that trip cross town to see those cheeks any day. I told Bas that $185 he had to cough up for getting his car back was worth it now. There was no difference between that and a strip club. And I can easily drop more than $185 at a strip club.

After we regained consciousness from those mesmerizing booty cheeks 15 minuets later I started to look around the towing station.  I had this eerie feeling like I’ve been there before. Everything felt so familiar. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Then I saw this sign…

What other place in the world accepts virtually every type of payment in existence??? Fucking MONEY ORDERS? The only shit missing is PayPal. What other place in the world has ATM machines so fucking big, they have their own cooling unit? What other place in the world has fucking 9 tellers TAKING YOUR MONEY 24 HOURS A DAY??? And fucking mobsters and  chicks wearing booty shorts at 3am? That’s when it hit me…

Fucking Casinos!!! That’s why shit felt so familiar. I spent the latter part of my fiended out life in casinos. I was in AC fucking last weekend for christ’s sake.  The similarities are just too much. These are the only 2 places in the world that operate 24 hours a day, accept every payment known to man, and TAKE YOUR MONEY 24/7.

It really hit me when Bas paid the lady. The fine for retrieving your car is $185. That’s it. Shit don’t vary per crime. It’s $185 if you park in a handicapped spot and $185 if you get mooked and misread a simple sign in an deserted region of NYC.

That’s when I realized what a Goldmine this place is. They don’t give a fuck about anything but getting this money. I used to think they really cared. This shit is all a scam. That’s why they make all these absurd rules in NYC about parking . “Can’t park here on odd numbered dates”. “Can only park on the left side during the summer solace”. “Parking suspended on the right side during a full moon”. Like what the fuck?? They don’t care about handicap spots, school zones, street sweepers, traffic flow, or reserved spots. All they care about is getting this $185. And they will accept literally anyway you can pay it.

Think twice when you say NYC don’t have casinos. From now on the “Cam’Ron Rule” is in effect when I park:

“So I parked in a tow-away zone, chrome / I don’t care that car a throwawayhomes”

@Wave_Bandana

PS – This is just one night. A garage full of $185 dollar chips:

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Some @Wave_Bandana Thoughts on the Dark Night Rises (Not A Spoiler, Haven’t Seen The Flick)

First Thing I need to get off my chest is this retarded shit:

‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Opening-Night Tickets Scalped for $150″

Batman fanboys will have to spend more money if they want to watch the midnight screening of “The Dark Knight Rises”. The highly-anticipated film’s advanced tickets have been promptly sold out after they officially went on sale June 11. However, it is now said that the tickets are back for purchase but only if moviegoers would pay an estimated $150, which inflated 80% from the original price.

A quick search on eBay proves that the opening-night tickets for the Batman movie are available again for over $100 in major markets. According to Entertainment Weekly, a scalper sells the tickets for the screening at the Lincoln Square Theater in New York for $114 each, while another one sells the tickets for the Arclight in Los Angeles for $150.

You sick bastards have to be kidding me with this shit. This isn’t a money issue, this is pure principle. You know when it’s okay to drop $150 on a movie? The Sopranos complete series DVD box set. That’s valued at $300+, so $150 would actually be a good deal.

Look, I’m all about spending money. Every 2 weeks I get my paycheck and I might as well just hand it over to my mook dealer and bars. When it comes to trips, concerts, and cool experiences, I’ll shell out whatever. I’ve definitely paid for tickets 80% over their retail value, BUT IT WAS FOR ONE TIME ONLY EVENTS like music festivals and sports games. This movie is going to be out all summer. Are you that fiended for Batman you can’t wait 12 hours?

I just don’t get this shit. First off, the midnight showing of this movie is going to suck. These are regular ass tickets, not VIP and shit. It’s not like becuase you dropped $150 you can just stroll into the theater at 11:45pm. If motherfuckers are scalping tickets for $150, how do you think the sickos that actually got these tickets before they sold out are gonna react? Those motherfuckers are going to be sitting in that theater seat by Noon Thursday. That means after you drop $300 for you and a bitch, you have to use a precious vacation day and dedicate 8 hours of sitting in seat, otherwise you and your weird ass life companion will be nowhere near each other in the theater. Shit is going to be mobbed with Batman weirdos dressed in fucking costumes. The midnight showing honestly sounds like a nightmare.

Another thing, you get zero love or kudos for being the first to see a movie in our society. Like if i said I was at the Superbowl, Game 7 of the NBA Finals, David Well’s Perfect Game, dudes are all like “NO way!!! So sick bro!!! What was is like? TELL ME ABOUT IT”. If I said I was at Coachella or backstage at the Drake Concert bitches are all like “OMG!!! Do you have any pictures??? What was is like? TELL ME ABOUT IT”. Point is, at those events you get mad love. More importantly people want to hear more and it extends the conversation, occasionally you might even get your dick sucked (or vagina muffed, I got you ladies).  When you tell people you saw a movie before they did, they freak out and treat you like you have leopardsy or HIV, “SHUT UP. SHUT UP. DON”T SPOIL IT! DON’T SAY A WORD! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU BATMAN FREAK”. Literally the exact opposite of what you want in a human reaction. Now you just dropped $150+ and no one wants to look, speak, or even sit near you.

There are 2 types of people in this world. People who are MOB: Money Over Bitches, and people who are BOE: Bitches Over Errrythangggg. This scenario is not appealing to either of the groups. It’s a waste of money, and it doesn’t get you bitches. My rule of thumb is never make a life choice that doesn’t appeal to one of these groups. That makes you a sick tweener fuck. No one likes a sick tweener fuck. The only exception would be if a DIME comic book batman nerd bitch told you she would fuck you if you took her to the midnight showing. That is the only logical reason for getting these tickets.

Next issue I have is with the new trailer @oakshades posted this morning.  I’m re-posting because his link was pulled:

WHERE THE FUCK IS THE U.S. GOVERNMENT?? I don’t understand why the government doesn’t intervene in Batman movies. Bane was blowing up bridges, planes, buildings, kids, parks, Hines Ward…THESE ARE ACTS OF TERRORISM. Acts of terror are addressed by the military and central government. It’s not up to fucking Batman and the local police force at this point. For christ’s sakes it looked like cops were fighting bad guys in hand to hand combat out there. Shit got that bad? Where are the tanks, soldiers, planes? Where the fuck is the military? Why don’t they EVER mention the “president” in Batman movies? What fucking country does this take place in?

I’m not THAT GUY in movies. That’s @oakshades. I can suspend my disbelief for a few hours. But when a movie claims to be “realistic” and completely disregards the level of authority we have in the country I have reason to complain. Remember, I’ve always said the Batman from 1989  was the best movie. Everyone always gave me shit saying how corny and cartoony it was. That was the whole point of these new movies was to make it realistic. That’s why Batman drives a tank instead of the Batmobile and lives in an Apartment building. Everyone is always like “these are so real brooooo”.

No it’s fucking not. Don’t tell me the old ones sucked because they we’rent realistic, and then try to say this shit is normal.  When shit gets out of hand, the U.S. Gov intervenes. It’s not up to the city anymore. We have thousands of trained soldiers ready for this. We have defense plans. We can even violate Bane’s right to privacy under the Patriot Act because he is a TERRORIST (which is also why I don’t understand why Morgan Freeman got so emo in the last one when they were trying to find the Joker, #1 the U.S. gov already has a way better version of that, #2 under the circumstances that was 100% legal because the Joker was a terrorist as well).

They never address this shit in Batman movies and I put up with it twice, but I don’t think I can do another.

@Wave_Bandana

PS – Shouts to Fiend Geo for coining BOE.

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Throw Back Thursday #TBT: Styles P feat. Pharoahe Monch – The Life

Maybe I’m biased because Styles is one of my favorite rappers of my lifetime, but I really feel like this is not only one of the best rap songs, but best songs of any genre in the last decade (2000-2010).

You can count on me to play this record on #TBT multiple times throughout the year. I won’t stop until this track and album gets its full justice.

No homo, but sometimes I wake up in cold sweats when I think about what “A Gangster and a Gentlemen” really should have been. Don’t get me wrong, it was RIAA Certified Gold. But by no means does this album get the full respect it deserves. It never gets brought up in ANY conversations. THIS WAS A HOOD ALBUM. Yeah it had some radio hits like “Good Times” and “We Thugs” but more or less, Styles never sold out. This was an album catered to the hood but it was done so fucking well that you couldn’t not fuck with it no matter what your taste and preferences were. This should be universally loved and appreciated by all hip-hop fans. It applied to lyricist fans, hood music fans, beat/banger fans, and even the Pop music/white kids fans. There is not one bad song on this album. Most of the songs, from the production to the song/lyric structure were actually genius. I can’t say enough about how powerful, passionate, and authentic Styles’ vocals are. It’s rare to find this level of authenticity throughout an entire record nowadays.

What happened here was simply a lack of support and marketing by the label and management. Just a classic example of how in this industry it takes more than just a great product to sell. That’s why I hate when fucking commentors say “let the music speak for itself”. I wish that were true but it just isn’t. I understand the label’s reservations. It was the debut album of a regionally known hood rapper with a lot of drugs, violence, and gun play lyrics. I can understand why a bunch of old white people fucked this one up. But had they known the quality and range of what Styles’ delivered I think they regret not pushing this one harder. With a  product like this and the proper budget for marketing, promotional awareness, and distribution, who knows what this album could have really become.

I can’t change the past. All I ask is that when you teach your kids or younger generations about hip-hop and you get to the 2000′s (a sensitive era for most long time fans), you include A Gangster and A Gentlemen by Styles P.

This album is a certified Super Mookin’ Fiends Platinum Classic by

@Wave_Bandana

PS – The Pharoahe Monch song on Madden 2002 was the best sports video game original song of all time. No question about it (Ludacris was a close second though!)

PPS – Please go back and re-listen to this album. Please.

Bonus Track:

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Hump Day Fin~ (Storms Almost Over)

This is how I want to think of bitches and water.

Not everyone running around NYC like bitches cause of some water.

That was a bitch ass storm.

@Wave_Bandana

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