Peter and Bobby Farrelly have been quietly developing a sequel to Dumb and Dumber for awhile now. Back in October, we heard that Sean Anders and John Morris — the comedy screenwriting duo behind Hot Tub Time Machine and Mr. Popper’s Penguins — were hard at work on a script. That was the last bit of news about the project…at least until this weekend, when Peter Farrelly dropped a Twitter-imploding bombshell in the middle of a Three Stooges press junket. “We’re getting set to shoot Dumb and Dumber 2 in September,” the director told ComingSoon.net. “We’ve got Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels back.”
So this is legit happening. Last week Anchorman 2, now this. It’s risky as hell, but I’m with it.
This is what I’m hoping for. You know when you finish writing an essay, an email, or even a text to a bitch (or hot dude, I’m trying not to isolate women so much but you get the idea)? Later that day you always think of something better or little changes you could have made. I can only imagine how many times that is multiplied when you make a successful movie the whole world saw.
I’m guessing over the last 18 years, this happened a lot to Peter Farrelly. Maybe so much that he can actually come up with another good movie. Cause it’s not like Hangover 2 which started filming the day the first one got popular and is clearly just for the money. It could very well absolutely suck, but I’m just saying, there’s a chance is could be good.
Yo I haven’t laughed as hard as this shit made me laugh in over 3 and a half weeks. Marky Mark needs to quit dramas and acton movies and strictly do comedies from now on. Seriously my head is hurting from how hard I was stifling my laughs. I almost shat my pants.
PS. It’s grown up Calvin and Hobbes but I’m cool with it cause I LOVEEEEEEED Calvin and Hobbes.
Police tonight shut down what has been billed as the “world’s largest blacklight party” at the Wellmont Theatre in downtown Montclair after a “heavily intoxicated” crowd of several thousand young people became unruly, authorities said. Police from Montclair and surrounding towns were called to the theater along Bloomfield Avenue at about 9 p.m. to disperse a crowd of between 2,000 and 3,000 people outside the theater.
Six people were arrested on charges of disorderly conduct and may face additional charges, Lt. Emil Dul said. In addition, 20 people were taken to area hospitals. A spokeswoman for Mountainside Hospital in Glen Ridge said 10 people — five women and five men between the ages of 18 and 24 — were taken there for treatment of symptoms related to alcohol poisoning.
Montclair Police Chief David Sabagh described the crowd as mainly college-age and “heavily intoxicated.”
“There were three people totally intoxicated who couldn’t stand up,” said Dul, the on-scene commander. “Then I find this girl in a crowd of people passed out and people were walking all over her. I had to drag her out of there with another officer.
He said the crowd was waiting in line outside the theater when about a half-dozen women passed out. He said he didn’t know why they collapsed.
The show was part of the Barstool Blackout Tour, which dubs itself as the “World’s Largest Blacklight Party.”
“World’s largest black out party”??? That’s called fucking 6th period to kids in the Clair. All these college campuses rave about how crazy this party tour is. Montclair kids are so crazy we can’t even handle walking in the venue at 9pm on a weekday.
If you’re from Montclair, I’m sure you’ve had this problem. You leave town or go to college and everyone is immediately on your dick because you’re way cooler than everyone else. I feel you guys, it’s hard out here. You can’t even compare other motherfuckers to us, it’s just not fair. Our humor, logic, lingo, people, it just blows everyone’s minds. Half the time they don’t even know what the fuck we are talking about, but whatever it is they know they just wanna get down with it.
The biggest problem being from the Clair is that our stories about a regular ass day are so fucking insane, people just don’t even believe it. I have to call like 9 people to co-sign every story because an average Monday shits on everyone else’s BEST story from their hometown. None of my non-MTC friends even believe what I say anymore. I’ll start a story like this: “so we left 2nd period to go get high…” and right off the back, “YOU COULD CUT CLASS THAT EASILY??” “YOU COULD SMOKE DURING THE SCHOOL DAY???” Yes motherfucker, that wasn’t even the story. If you would let me finish I could explain how what went down at this dope ass party at 2pm after we escaped a 4,000 person riot on the football field because we had our 28th bomb threat of the month.
It is just so god damn frustrating to try and tell stories people can’t even comprehend the most basic shit. You can’t even get to the good part of the story because you have to stop every 30 seconds and explain something else. Yes, we were allowed to skip class every single day for four years. Yes, we were allowed to leave school at any time. Yes, we smoked 5 times a day and walked around school high out of our minds. Have you ever tried to explain the cosmetic makeup of MTC? Shit is impossible. No one can understand how economically and racially diverse we are. How we have a hood ass section, rich ass section, and everything else in between. How our High School and groups of friends are like 40% white, 40% black, 20% other motherfuckers. How we have the Ivy league students and straight criminals all smoking weed together. Don’t even get me started on the bitches. We have straight dimes. The best part about diversity is we have the hottest bitches from every race out there. And our bitches are dope! They all burn and are actually mad fun to hang out with. Every person is just funnier, crazier, smarter, and more swagged out than the next. Motherfuckers don’t care where your from or what you have, all we care about is do you have $5 on this sour or not.
So let this be a PSA to anyone that ever doubt a story about the most fiended out place on the planet. Trust us, it’s true. I think for a long term solution, we all need to come together and write a book or movie about this shit. But for the short term, all we can do is try to describe the indescribable. And share articles like the one above. You think your hosting the craziest party on the planet? Well, we’re so fiended out that we shut that bullshit down before it even starts.
PS – I wish I could start listing stories, or really explain what I mean, but it just wouldn’t do it justice. I read my Google analytics report every month. I know that thousands of #SMF readers probably have no idea what I’m talking about or what Montclair even is based on their IP locations. I’m sure it’s slightly frustrating to hear me rave about how awesome we are without giving much empirical evidence. But it really can’t be understood through words. You have to have lived it. You couldn’t understand what a basic week was like. It’s like living in a lawless wild wild west except for way more mook. If that’s not good enough, well, you can suck my dick. This one is for the Clair. I have a high ass reader retention percentage (# of unique visitors that returned after first visit), so that means you have to fuck with me at least a little bit. And if you’re friends with or fucking someone from Montclair, then you already know what I’m talking about.
PPS – Some people complained already that the racial and economic diversity applies to North Jersey and Essex county in general, not just Montclair. I agree with that. But Montclair kids are smarter, funnier, better looking, more wild, more fiended out, and just all around way better than the other parts.
ATLANTA (AP) — Lottery officials say they are increasing the MegaMillions lottery jackpot to $640 million, raising what was already a world-record prize. Kimberly Starks, a spokeswoman for the Georgia Lottery, said Friday the jackpot had increased. The jackpot had stood at $540 million before Friday’s announcement. The previous record jackpot was $390 million in 2007. A drawing for the fortune is set for 11 p.m. Friday in Atlanta.The odds of winning the jackpot had been set at about 1 in 176 million.
MegaMillions has drawn long lines of lottery players in stores in the 42 states plus Washington, D.C., and the Virgin Islands where tickets are sold. The world-record jackpot has also lured some residents to travel to other states to buy $1 tickets.
Dunno why this AP article is so heavily focused on Atlanta but who gives a fuck because I’m 100% positive either myself or one of the #FIENDS is winning this jackpot. I cannot even tell yall all the shit I plan on doing with my money but here are a few of the absolutely ‘RICH NIGGA SHIT’ things I’d do immediately…
1. I’d get the following Jordans gold plated and fitted for chains:
DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING STEAL THIS IDEA YOU FUCKING IDEA THIEFS. I WILL SUE YOU’RE MUFUGGIN ASSES
2. I’d buy a HUGE tour bus and absolutely trick it the fuck out. This would be my NYJ Tailgate vehicle
3. Season tickets Mets, Jets, Knicks (Yankees and Giants too but only for business)
4. Create the Hive
5. 3 cars for every homie in the set
6. I’d buy an island and build a castle on it
7. I’d buy mad english bulldog pups and recreate this
8. Pitch a reality TV show to MTV entitled “My Best Friend Just Won The Lotto” starring @Wave_Bandana
9. Segways for the set
10. SMF studios
Ya’ll don’t realize how indepth my plans for my Mega winnings are. While I was contemplating these plans I stumbled upon a site that calculates your post tax earnings for the lotto and peep:
GODDAMN WE GON BE RICH. But then I realized that yoooo if you take that 26 payment option you get like 117 million extra. At first I was like whoa, 17 mill a year and an additional 117 mil??? You gotta think about it right? BUt then I realized that the Illuminati would murder you IMMEDIATELY for being so greedy. I’d move to a beach for a month and just plot the comeup and then I’d be dancing everywhere on TV like Diddy.
Let me just make this clear to all our fiended out readers; if you eat an ounce of cocaine from someone’s asshole you will die.
I remember in the movie Blow Johnny Depp says “The official toxicity limit for humans is between one and one and half grams of cocaine depending on body weight. I was averaging five grams a day, maybe more. I snorted ten grams in ten minutes once. I guess I had a high tolerance”. That line was meant to be an extreme exaggeration to show you how much coke he was doing. He was talking about 5-10 grams being insane. This SC mug did an ounce in seconds.
I will say this though, this dude had some serious brother loyalty. How did his brother convince him to eat cocaine out of his asshole so easily? My sister has to bitch at me for hours just to get me to drive her somewhere.