– The Super Mookin’ Fiends
Ashley Hunter–pictured above, 33, stabbed Orlando Dewitt, 37, during a threesome because he refused to change positions. Hunter and Dewitt (who met in prison) were partying in Fargo, North Dakota when they decided to continue the party at Hunter’s home. The two men began to have a threesome with a women identified as Leticia. During the act, Hunter asked him to change positions with him. When Dewitt refused, the two men started to argue. The argument turned into violence when Hunter pulled a 12 inch knife from under his sofa. Leticia and Dewitt ran into the bathroom. Dewitt decided to make a run for the door, but was stabbed in his left arm. Dewitt grabbed Leticia’s phone off of the table and called 911 in the alley, naked.
Holy shit. That’s what I call a fiend night. Fucking dude-on-dude-on-chick threesome that ends in a stabbing.
If you are going to have a 2 dude threesome, at least do it with a dude named Ashley right? When your telling the story you would be like “yo, I had a crazy threesome last night with Ashley and Leticia”. Everyone would think that’s 2 bitches! Genius.
The only thing I’m gonna say is we shouldn’t jump to conclusions here. The report never specifies exactly what position they were in. That to me is the most insane detail they left out. At first glance Ashley Hunter looks like a true fiend. If he was just getting dome the whole time and wanted to hit, and Orlando wouldn’t switch, I could see how he would be frustrated. But by no means does that deserve a stabbing.
But what if they were making this dude Ashley do something crazy. Like what if they had him held down forcing him to eat Leticia’s ass out while Orlando straddled over him beating cheeks and with each thrust his convict balls smacked against Ashley’s face? Would that not be worth a stabbing potentially?
There are endless, horrific, 2 dude-convict threesome postions I could come up with it. I guarantee some of you would would end up stabbing a motherfucker if it happened to you. So let’s not judge, the real fiend of the week might be Orlando Dewitt.
But most likely this dude Ashley hunter is just a fucking fiend.
PS – Look, there’s two types of dudes out there. Ones that will do a 2 dude threesome and ones that will not. I’m just not that type of dude that could do it. That might be surprising since I’m always screaming about how I’m BOE: Bitches Over Erythang, or that I would rather bang 10 “1s” than 1 “10”. Basically I’ll fuck any bitch and stoop as low as I need to go, but I just can’t picture looking up and seeing @oakshades staring back at me when I’m trying to fuck.
As a born and raised New Yorker I don’t fucking understand how this happened. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SELL A STORE TO SOMEONE AND GIVE THEM THE KEYS TO YOUR BUSINESS?
“They seemed regular yet you had that like sense that something was just not right.”
Word? You sensed that? But they copped a Gas Station with faked checks and bounced with $50k
Fake checks? What is this ‘Catch Me If You Can‘? I don’t know anyone other then my shady landlord that accepts checks. It’s 2013 what the fuck is wrong with these fiends?
Next up is the law that says you can’t offer too much of a discount on your gas so the gas market stays high. Word? That sounds like a system where even if there isn’t a gas shortage, the people with the gas could hike the prices up saying that there is a gas shortage. Then they could invade countries that do have gas. All the while maintaining profits and setting up the world cause on the low the home country has been sitting on gas the entire time. Fracking.
Shout out to Jay Kolls. #kollsworld
So I had another pregnancy scare and like always for a few days I was freaking the fuck out. Especially now since I’m getting too old for an abortion. I passed that age where I can use the excuse of “not being ready yet”. I’m past the point where I can give it up for adoption too. I could support a love child. Plus I don’t want that little bastard growing up resenting me and making the NBA without me.
So normally when these scares happen, I spend a few panicked hours Googling shit about trimesters, Planed Parenthood hours of operations, and cliffs I can jump from. But this time since I was ready to just accept my fate, I decided to use my time more efficiently. I started to come up with baby names for my bastard child. Here is where I netted out.
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Last night, Kanye kicked off his next major music campaign by premiering his new video “New Slaves” by projecting the clip on 66 buildings at 66 locations. The above video is footage from the Williamsburg location in Brooklyn.
Say what you want about Kanye, but he always comes through when it’s time to market and build up buzz. Whether its guerilla marketing tactics like this, to full digital campaigns such as the “Good Fridays” saga. I always admire the superstar brands that love to try out cool shit and take advantage of their owned media and guaranteed media impressions from their popularity. My current agency does this the best.
Between that and ===>
I’m gonna go ahead thank Baauer for tricking white people into lighting themselves on fire for my viewing pleasure.
WHO WAS MORE SUPRISED? The deer who was like “WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK”? Or the bus driver who was like “WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK”?
This is like the equivalent of me going for a run and running face first into an alien space ship. How did that deer not die on impact? Where the fuck is PETA?
LISTEN YOU FUCKS. I get it. Animals are awesome and shit. BUT THIS IS WHY WE HAVE TO CONTROL THE ANIMAL POPULATION. As much as it sucks to admit. Humans are an apex predator for a goddamn reason. Is it greedy to say that I rather have humans driving around without the increased danger of a fucking deer jumping in the car? Yea. But I don’t give a fuck. Human lives are more valuable then animal lives because I’m a human and that’s the only reason I got.
PS. We gotta do a VO for this shit.
I just spilled coffee everywhere cause I was not expecting this GIF when I clicked it.
PS. I hope this catches someone off guard like it caught me. Now my mouse won’t work.
This story is from last summer. When it’s all said and done, this story will be completely lost and forgotten. So I have to get it down on paper now because motherfuckers needed to remember how close they were to dying.
For this one, I’m going to have to protect names. So let’s call my two friends here Fiend H and Fiend R.
Fiend H and Fiend R had a party this weekend. They live in a really dope upper east-side duplex with a private backyard. The backyard is actually a decent size for NYC; big enough to host kegs, a grill, lounge chairs, and multiple tables for a 16 Team bracket style beer pong tournament.