Super Mookin Sunday Funday Trailer : Butter (That guy!)

This shit makes me more and more confident that I’m gonna make millions of dollars in Hollywood. This movie is about Butter sculpting. More importantly when I saw this shit I was like ‘OH SHIT! It’s That guy!’. This nigga is funny as fuck, but I have no clue what this nigga’s name is. He’s in like eight movies I really fuck with and he murders it every time and I have no clue what his name is.

@oakshades

PS. I purposefully did not look up this dude’s name once I realized I didn’t know his name.

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Madden 2013 – Ray Lewis + Paul Rudd

Fucking A+ commercial. Flawless execution. White people love this. Black people love this. Football fans love this. Bitches who love Paul Rudd Romcoms love this. I love this. My mom loves this. People who love Wiz Khalifa loves this. Wiz Khalifa loves this. Good job EA.

@oakshades

PS. Sorry Bas. 2K will be back soon though. (This nigga Bas still plays NFL 2k4 and shit. Loyal to the death.)

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DARPA Robot Chronicles : SWAGBot

Remember this video cause one day DARPA is gonna get us all killed.

Remember how you thought it was funny.

Remember the beginning of the end when the AlienRobot Cyborgs disembowel your grandchild in front of you.

Fuck you DARPA.

@oakshades

PS. You know why the USA has had a strong hold on the world even though we kinda suck as the Superpower? Cause of our Military. Did you know that the US Military is responsible for most technology we use daily like GPS? Did you know that the US Military has technology 30 years before the public does? So back in the day when families were getting lost using maps… PAPER MAPS on some Lewis and Clarke shit, the US Army was fucking niggas up at precise locations thanks to TomTomGo’s. Do you really think this is the best fucking robot we have on deck? If so… where the fuck are my taxes going?

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University of Maryland University College

Ummmm pretty sure that’s a fake school bruh.

@oakshades

PS. These homies are worse then regular universities. Not only are you a ponzi scheme (just like everyother fucking school of ‘Higher Education’) you don’t even prey on smart mugs, you prey on the dumbest of the fucking dumb.

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President of Ireland Goes In On Tea Party Douche

Michael D. Higgins (who was elected president of Ireland last year) is fed up with over-the-top Tea Party rhetoric, and he isn’t afraid to show it. Listen to him call out radio host Michael Graham on everything from health care to foreign policy in this heated exchange from 2010. Trust me, you don’t want to miss this one.

Yo this little leprechaun nigga WENT IN. Where the fuck are the american politicians lighting niggas up like this?

@oakshades

PS. Him calling dude a wanker is like Obama calling a dude a fucknigga.

VIA

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SMF #TBT Sample Battles: Bobby “Blue” Bland VS Jay-Z

I’m starting a new series called SMF #TBT Sample Battles (working title). For years I have been collecting all the original songs that were sampled for hip-hop classics. I have literally thousands of songs and it has been a very rewarding musical experience. I’ve learned so much in the past few years. I feel like I’m finally at a point where I can share it.  Eventually I’m going to make exclusive mixes, but for now I just want to highlight the songs to pay homage to the original artist, the producer, and the hip-hop recording artist. Ultimately we will let you decide what song you appreciate the most.

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The Worst/Best Mushroom Experience I’ve Ever Had.

Aight so this shit is called Improv Everywhere. Longstory short, they do big group things where some people are in on it and others aren’t. Look at the faces of the people not in on it. The mix of joy and a little bit of terror. Remember that face.

So prolly around two years ago… maybe three years ago, I was working as a paralegal for a huge fucking lawfirm. Shirt and tie everyday, logging of every six minutes and no iPods. Super corporate world. It was the worst experience of my life. I wanted to kill myself and everyone around me. Well it was April 2nd and the #FIENDS (NYU fiends) hit me up about eating a shitton of mushrooms. At this point in time, I was the only fiend that graduated from college. I asked them to wait till six pm versus eating them at five so I could eat with them. They told me that there was no shot that was happening but that I should hurry down. I got there around five forty five, homies were smoking blunts in @wave_bandana’s bedroom while @lloyd_bankfiend played this song on a loop for the entire night…

Here’s something for all you #fiends out there. If you’re going to do #Mushrooms you better fucking do it with the right people and you better be comfortable as hell. Here’s what could happen if you don’t…

Homies started to feel a little wavy. Bankfiend put on a white track jacket a fitted and a huge gold chain and started dancing around the world rapping 1980. About 20 minutes and two blunts later, I was a little sour cause my stomach was not fucking with those shrooms. I took a huge shit and when I got back the homies wanted to hit a park. Central Park I inquired? No… Washington Square Park. I don’t know when I started to trip, but that shit came on super hard and super fast. We were walking down waverly place and out of nowhere I realized that we looked like Alice in Wonderland. Oh so you ate mushrooms and thought you were in Alice in Wonderland… YEA I DID AND THAT SHIT STARTED OFF THE MOST TWEAKED EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. After I finished analyzing everyone’s role in this Alice in Wonderlandy state of mind I was in. We started getting closer to the park and that right there is where shit got weird.

Off jump I was weirded out by the park. I saw two of the actors from ‘Hot Tub Time Machine’… not Craig Robinson or John Cussack tho, the two young versions of them. Then we started interacting with our environment. First thing I do as I step into the park? I bump into the most intense looking photographer ever. I apologized to dude for maybe 40 minutes. Explaining how I knew how hard it was to find the right shot at the right time and how sorry I was. We take 10 more steps and this family asks the six foot nine fiend that is Wave try and take a picture. After 15 minutes of him struggling we moved on to the big ass fountain circle thing in the middle of the park.

So I’m sitting there and for a few minutes… life was beautiful. Mushrooms are intense people. Like think about everything you know about the world. What trees look like. What buildings you’ve been walkin in and out of for years look like. Your clothes you put on this am. Imagine you knew all of that and then you ate some vegetables and POW you’re mid fucking cartoon. Trees are swaying when in actualtiy they aren’t. The bricks in buildings are moving. The tiles in the fountain you’re sitting in are wilding out in a counterclock wise circle. Now imagine all this tweaked out shit was happening and you look to your right where you see one of your best friends and you go to him ‘Bro what the fuck are the bricks on Bobst doing?’ and he tells you exactly what you see. Then you go to him ‘How bout the fucking tiles in the fountain?’ and he tells you exactly what you see. And then in you’re head you’re thinking goddamn this shit is fucking overwhelming and outta nowhere he looks at you and goes “This shit is overwhelming bro”. Imagine that happens.

Then sprinkle in some fiends doing this weird cirucituous routine over and over and over again while filming or fake filming some shit. Welcome to my first INTENSE mushroom trip. In about 13 seconds I went to being in awe of the world and having an amazing time to immediately freaking out and thinking I was part of a sick fucking prank. Imagine you figure it out. Nobody else is on mushrooms just you. It was a practical joke. It’s the day after April Fool’s day. Best joke ever right? Get a bunch of people to trick one of their friends into doing mushrooms. Motherfucking Impov Everywhere! So you’re sitting there freaking the fuck out when you decide that you need to leave. You need to go to the NYU Kimmel Center for Students and get your mind right. So you get up. Your friends protest (cause when you are on shrooms, you are in a little group of people and splitting up is not ok) but you know that if you don’t go and establish reality shit is gonna get scary in the next hour.

So you walk. As you walk you realize that the entire park is following you. You think back to your friends and you realize they didn’t have a hoody on. So you take your hoody off. Everyone around you then takes off something. So you panic more. And then an arm grabs you. It’s your asian buddy Jim. One of the nicest homies you’ve ever met. Smart dude that never does anything but try and have a good time and be a good person. He tells you that ‘Nah bro I can’t let you do this’. That 100% seals it in. You’re being filmed. Everyone is watching you. The perfect prank. Not only did your fiended friends figure out how to get you to do shrooms solo, they got all of Washington Sq Park in on the joke. You tell him its cool and hustle up into the building. You see your ex girlfriend and that just tweaks you out harder then anything. You book it up the escalator and lock yourself in a bathroom stall.

The world is literally spinning around you. You’re sitting there. You’re ok with who you are and the decisions you’ve made in the last couple months. Ok you’re not. You’re a terrible person. You hate your job. You’re a fat lazy piece of shit who does nothing to change it. You smoke too much weed. You don’t talk to your parents enough. You aren’t as good of a brother as you used to be. You’re broke. You’re gonna change it all. You have to. If you don’t you’re gonna be just like your autistic fucking boss who loves his paralegal job and his 4 hour daily commute from/to Jersey. You can’t do that. You’re gonna change it. You get up out of the stall and you look into the mirror. Your entire face is fucking melting.

You shake it off and contemplate what to do. You can go home to Queens. Lock yourself in your bedroom, put on some classic rock and ride this bitch out. But you don’t have enough money for a cab so that requires a subway. NOPE. Then you realize you’re throwing a party that night. You need the money and more importantly you can’t throw a party and not show up. So you realize that you gotta man the fuck up. You walk out of the bathroom. Everyone is following you again. Worse then that, they know that you know that they are following you. So they’re talking about you. They’re telling you that you’re gonna be stuck at your job. That you’re a fat lazy piece of shit who does nothing to change it. That you smoke too much weed. That you don’t talk to your parents enough. That you aren’t as good of a brother as you used to be. That you’re broke. ANd that you’re 100% gonna end up like your autistic fucking boss who loves his paralegal job and his 4 hour daily commute from/to Jersey.

You start walking faster. You end up where the whole trip started. You’re outside Wave’s dorm. You have no clue where anyone is but then you realize they’re all upstairs in the room. This is the big reveal. You go upstairs, everyone laughs and you end up shrooming the rest of the night at your party. You go in to the dorm still freaked out, and a little angry. You scream at the security guard. She’s caught off guard cause you normally are the nicest person to her ever. You hop the turnstyle and tell her that you can’t believe she sold you out like this. You get in the elevator where you scream about your life at a kinda hot chick who is like woahhhhhhhh.

You get out of the elevator on Wave’s floor. Black carpet. Neon lines. The floor is fucking moving. It looks like Rainbow Road from Mario Kart 64. You bang on the door so hard that the cute asian girls next door and the weird asian girls across the hall from Wave ask if you’re ok. You tell them that for the own sanity they don’t wanna be in this hallway. They oblige.

You call the 1st person you can think of to talk you out of this. The one homie who wouldn’t be in on this. You hit him and this nigga swears he’s not in on it. Then you call your Mom. She wouldn’t be in on it right? You ask her if she’s playing a practical joke on her. She realizes you are on Hallucinogens. She tells you that she is 100% in on it and that everyone is watching. You hang up. Your friends pulled off the best prank of all time but at least you ruined it for them.

You sit there convinced that you won but at the same time you know you got mad shit to deal with at this party. An hour or so later all the homies come off the elevator musing about where the fuck did that tweaker D go? They turn the corner to see you there. Sitting. They all freak out. You are still convinced they knew exactly where you are cause it’s a reality TV show about you. You refuse to talk cause you don’t want to look retarded.

You smoke 3 blunts. Crush two forties. And you don’t say a word for 4 hours. And then the shrooms wear off. You’re back to normal. You decide you gotta figure out if the world is ok. You walk outside and literally right outside Wave’s dorm is some marketing stunt where they are projecting a camera capturing the street on a wall.

YOU JUST ATE A FUCKTON OF MUSHROOMS. CONVINCED YOURSELF YOU WERE PART OF THE BEST PRANK EVER ON A REALITY TV SHOW ABOUT BEING A BETTER PERSON AND NOT DOING DRUGS AND THERE IS A FUCKING PROJECTION OF YOU ON THE CORNER OF BROADWAY AND ST. MARKS.

You walk right back upstairs. You try again in an hour. You’re ok this time. You’re done off the shrooms. You scared your self shitless but then you realize you kinda had mad fun cause you lived a weird fucking psychosomatic horror move. You hit the club, you party, you get fucked up and you have a sick fucking night.

@oakshades

PS. I may or may not have induced monthly anxiety attack from this experience.
PPS. I think every adult should be required to do shrooms 3 times a year with significant others and once by themselves.
PPPS. I cannot wait to do shrooms again. Our new connect is a chef and former chemist who extracts the Psilocybin from the mushrooms and puts them in chocolate bars. <=== FUCK WITH US.
PPPPS. This is either the best idea or the worst idea ever.

To celebrate a friend’s birthday, comedian Josh Androsky and 20 of his comic buddies decided it would be fun to get really drunk, do some shrooms, and go be audience members on The Price is Right. And wouldn’tcha know it — Josh was picked to be a contestant and was told to come on down.

One tiny problem with that: Josh was really fucking high.

In the video’s description, the self-proclaimed “skateboard rabbi” summarizes his experience: “I’m an idiot and I took mushrooms, got drunk, then went on The Price Is Right and lied to Drew Carey’s melting face.”

(NB: Josh is the Joshua on the left, not the one on the right (who appears to be under the influence of something much stronger than shrooms).)

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SMF #TBT Sample Battles: Bobby “Blue” Bland VS Jay-Z

I’m starting a new series called SMF #TBT Sample Battles (working title). For years I have been collecting all the original songs that were sampled for hip-hop classics. I have literally thousands of songs and it has been a very rewarding musical experience. I’ve learned so much in the past few years. I feel like I’m finally at a point where I can share it.  Eventually I’m going to make exclusive mixes, but for now I just want to highlight the songs to pay homage to the original artist, the producer, and the hip-hop recording artist. Ultimately we will let you decide what song you appreciate the most.

SMF #TBT Battles Vol. 1: Bobby “Blue” Bland – Aint No Love in the Heart of the City VS Jay-Z Aint No Love (Heart of the City)

Starting off Volume 1 with an easy one. Jay-Z’s classic Blueprint anthem produced by Kanye West VS. the blues legend Bobby Bland’s original track.

If you don’t know who Bobby Bland is, I highly suggest you sample some of his work (as many producers have).  The former member of the “Beale Streeters” has created some of the best work the blues and soul genres have ever seen. Bobby is a pioneer of the mixed gospel, blues, and R&B sound, and is often referred to as the “Lion of the Blues”. He was inducted into the Blues Hall of Fame in 1981, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1992, and received the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 1997.

The reason I said this was an easy one is because it’s not hard to identify the sample here. Kanye pretty much used the entire song. I have no issues with that because if it weren’t for Kanye and Hov, many younger people would never know this amazing Bobby Bland record. I do think Jay-Z’s rendition is an amazing hip-hop record, but I’m siding with the original as the song I appreciate the most musically regardless of genre.  There is just something more powerful to me in the Bobby Bland chorus. I’ve always gravitated to this record more if I want to listen to that classic melody.

The choice, hover, is yours. You decide.

VS.

@Wave_Bandana

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FINALLY: An In-Depth Piece On Doc Ellis’ LSD No Hitter…By ESPN!?

In the HBO footage, silent and incomplete, Ellis sporadically slips and stumbles during his follow-through. He later recalled a sense of euphoria. Sometimes, the ball felt big. Like a balloon. Sometimes, it felt small. Like a golf ball.

First off — if you didn’t know this incredible story already, shame on you. I don’t know what rock you’ve been living under.

The jist: June 12, 1970. Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis doesn’t think he’s going to be pitching so he takes some acid. Ends up he misremembered the day and ended up having to pitch. He’d go on to pitch a fucking no hitter while tripping balls. That’s literally all I should have to tell you because it’s one of, if not, the most fiended performances in the history of sports — professional or otherwise.

The short film on YouTube by No Mas (attached above) is a beautifully illustrated account of the game complete with a narration by Ellis himself. So many questions come to mind about this majestic event, the most pressing of which is WHERE THE FUCK IS THE FOOTAGE? I need it and I needed it years ago.

But the reason I’m bring it up today is because I went on ESPN.com to see if there were any fiend MLB afternoon games to bet on and “holy Santa Claus shit!”…the main story on ESPN.com is an Outside The Lines in-depth article on Ellis’ no hitter. I’m not even done reading it and I can confirm this is a must, must read. Has anyone even attempted this kind of stunt since? I mean, besides Deadspin editor AJ Daulerio who took acid and tried to throw a no hitter in MLB 2k11.

Is acid the answer for all these MLB mug? Melky Cabrera man…if only he’d just been tripping he wouldn’t have tested positive.

-Droog

***Wave Bandana EDIT***

This is seriously one of my favorite stories in all of the fiend stories I’ve ever heard in my life. Dude is TRIPPING on LSD and throws a no hitter in the MLB. Like fiend stories just don’t get better than that. I saw a quote from him one time that said when he would go up to pitch, he would see 3 different batters. he said he was aiming for the one in the middle.

What a fucking fiend. I love it.

@Wave_Bandana

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Bill Nye “The Science Guy” is a Fiend

Holy fucking shit. A Bill Nye 2012 sighting.

I’ve been searching for Bill Nye The Science Guy since I first got internet access over a decade ago. Dude is like a ghost. A mythical legend. A folk tale. Some Paul Revere shit. Everyone knows who he is, no one knows where he is. Just when I was ready to give up all hope this motherfucker pops up on Hardball with Chris Mathews today.

Bill Nye was such an intricate part of the public school curriculum, I would go on record as saying he was perhaps the most significant teacher in my life. The only shit I know about Protons and Neutrons still to this day is from Bill Nye. He always explained shit so simply. When the whole class was confused as fuck, and my teacher was sweating bullets trying to teach a room full of 30+ public school fiends, she would just pop in a Bill Nye tape and he would just break it down so poetically.

Another reason hearing the name Bill Nye automatically puts me in a  good mood is because he will be forever linked in my brain to “Movie Day” and “Substitute Teacher Day”. In little kid land, there was no better feeling than walking into class and seeing that big ass 90s TV set plugged in at the front of the room. Sometimes you could even hear the piercing ringing from the TV static in the hallway and could just feel “Movie Day” in your bones.  The only thing better than “Movie Day” was walking into the classroom and seeing some confused stranger that was clearly a substitute teacher. Some of the best days of my life came at the expense of substitution teachers. Bill Nye personifies all these positive emotions and memories. Everyone knows “Movie Day” and “Substitute Teacher Day” were the best possible days of school, and 9 times out of 10 Bill Nye was with you riding the fun train all the way to the last bell.

For those of you looking for a quick little nostalgic Bill Nye article, you should stop reading right now. Because what you are about to hear is really fiended and might change the way you see Bill Nye forever.

I’ve been waiting to tell my Bill Nye is a Fiend story for a while now. I was just looking for the proper forum. This 2012 sighting seems like a good time.

So I have this older friend. Let’s just dub him “Science Fiend” for protective reasons. Now I’m going to be real with you guys. While Science Fiend was once a promising scholar, dude fell on hard times. He’s a drug addict and pathological liar. He’s also currently incarcerated. The point  is, Science Fiend is not really the most trustworthy source.

However, in the words from Scarface in Half Baked; “I believe him yo, I don’t know why, but I do”. I don’t believe most of what Science Fiend says, but when it comes to his Bill Nye Stories I believe him.

So Science Fiend and Bill Nye both went to Cornell together in the 70s. Science Fiend was always a wild party guy. As I explained above, he actually became too big of a party guy. But he always swore there was one dude at Cornell that was more hardcore, more fiended, and more bat shit party crazy than him. This insane fiend, was a man by the name of Bill Nye.

If you remember, there was once a parody article published called “Bill Nye: Crack almost Killed Me”. It was a fake story about Bill Nye’s drug addiction. It launched all kinds of rumors. Bill actually took it in good humor and wrote the whole thing off (which makes you think). Eventually it all blew over. My homey Science Fiend says that was perhaps the most accurate article published about him.

Science Fiend still swears to this day that Bill Nye is a fucking physco and absolute fiend. He said Bill Nye had a heavy drinking and coke problem. Bill was always out getting hammered and railing lines when he wasn’t dealing with subatomic particles.  Science Fiend recalled one time him and Bill Nye went to a strip club and that Bill Nye was straight disrespecting hoes. Like he was shitfaced calling the girls bitches and shit, and they actually kicked Bill Nye out for aggressively touching  strippers. Science Fiends swears Bill Nye was just always out getting fucked up, drinking, doing drugs, and causing problems.

My buddy also said that Bill Nye used to use his science skills to whip up a mean batch of Meth. Fiends all around the tri-state area can attest to the fact that Bill Nye used to cook up the best Meth on the east coast. He was like the Breaking Bad dude but way ahead of his time. Science Fiend really believes in his heart that Breaking Bad was loosely based on the life of Bill Nye.

Look. I don’t know if any of this shit is true. But it wouldn’t be the craziest thing to ever happen. I mean if you think about it, Bill was always REALLY hyped up about science. Like unreasonably hyped up and excited. And it was the 80s. It wouldn’t be so out of the question that Bill Nye was snorting mad coke and teaching kids about science. Everyone in the 80s was doing that shit. Go back and look at old Bill Nye the Science Guy Footage. There is some weird shit going on with Bill. I think as little kids we wrote him off as being a nerd or weird when really he was just fiended out and trying to keep his composure.

I decided I had to dig a little deeper. I was able to find this proven story about Bill’s personal life:

Nye announced his engagement during an appearance on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and was married briefly to his fiancéeof five months, author Blair Tindall, on February 3, 2006.  Nye left the relationship seven weeks later when the marriage license was declared invalid. He filed a restraining order against Tindall after she entered their property to pour weed killer in his garden. A few months later he acquired a six year injunction against her which required Tindall to stay 100 yards away from him. She violated the order in 2009 and Nye took her back to court to enforce it. The court ordered her to cover $57,000 in Nye’s legal expenses. Nye took Tindall back to court when she failed to pay.

Okay. So this might not prove he is a fiend. But it certainly doesn’t say a lot about him NOT being a fiend. This was a pretty fiended out situation he was in. Like Bill Nye  has restraining orders on bitches that are trying to destroy his drugs…I mean put “Weed Killer in his garden”? What kind of shit was that? Only a fiend would find themselves in a situation like this. This kind of shit doesn’t happen to normal people. You know what kind of people marry fiend-ed out chicks and get into ridiculously  fiended situations where people need restraining orders? FUCKING FIENDS.

We might never know the truth behind the legend of Bill Nye. Maybe he was a fiend, maybe he wasn’t. Between all the stories I’ve heard about Bill Nye snorting rocks and disrespecting women to how he acted on camera to this absurd story about his ex-wife, I’m gonna go ahead and say I believe Science Fiend. Regardless, the Bill Nye fiend stories are always good for laughs, and I will forever be in his debt for how many days of class he got me out of. For this, I will always fuck with Bill Nye The Science Fiend.

@Wave_Bandana

PS – Science Rules!

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