Give Pot A Chance – Op-Ed Piece from Timothy Egan (NYTimes)

SEATTLE – In two weeks, adults in this state will no longer be arrested or incarcerated for something that nearly 30 million Americans did last year. For the first time since prohibition began 75 years ago, recreational marijuana use will be legal; the misery-inducing crusade to lock up thousands of ordinary people has at last been seen, by a majority of voters in this state and in Colorado, for what it is: a monumental failure.

That is, unless the Obama administration steps in with an injunction, as it has threatened to in the past, against common sense. For what stands between ending this absurd front in the dead-ender war on drugs and the status quo is the federal government. It could intervene, citing the supremacy of federal law that still classifies marijuana as a dangerous drug.

But it shouldn’t. Social revolutions in a democracy, especially ones that begin with voters, should not be lightly dismissed. Forget all the lame jokes about Cheetos and Cheech and Chong. In the two-and-a-half weeks since a pair of progressive Western states sent a message that arresting 853,000 people a year for marijuana offenses is an insult to a country built on individual freedom, a whiff of positive, even monumental change is in the air.

In Mexico, where about 60,000 people have been killed in drug-related violence, political leaders are voicing cautious optimism that the tide could turn for the better. What happens when the United States, the largest consumer of drugs in the world, suddenly opts out of a black market that is the source of gangland death and corruption? That question, in small part, may now be answered.

Prosecutors in Washington and Colorado have announced they are dropping cases, effective immediately, against people for pot possession. I’ve heard from a couple of friends who are police officers, and guess what: they have a lot more to do than chase around recreational drug users.

Maine (ever-sensible Maine!) and Iowa, where the political soil is uniquely suited to good ideas, are looking to follow the Westerners. Within a few years, it seems likely that a dozen or more states will do so as well.

And for one more added measure of good karma, on Election Day, Representative Dan Lungren, nine-term Republican from California and a tired old drug warrior who backed some of the most draconian penalties against his fellow citizens, was ousted from office.

But there remains the big question of how President Obama will handle the cannabis spring. So far, he and Attorney General Eric Holder have been silent. I take that as a good sign, and certainly a departure from the hard-line position they took when California voters were considering legalization a few years ago. But if they need additional nudging, here are three reasons to let reason stand:

Hypocrisy. Popular culture and the sports-industrial complex would collapse without all the legal drugs that promise to extend erections, reduce inhibitions and keep people awake all night. I’m talking to you, Viagra, alcohol and high-potency energy drinks. Worse, perhaps, is the $25 billion nutritional supplement industry, offerings pills that make exaggerated health claims and steroid-based hormones that can have significant bad consequences. The corporate cartels behind these products get away with minimal regulation because of powerful backers like Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah.

In two years through 2011, more than 2,200 serious illnesses, including 33 fatalities, were reported by consumers of nutritional supplements. Federal officials have received reports of 13 deaths and 92 serious medical events from Five Hour Energy. And how many people died of marijuana ingestion? Of course, just because well-marketed, potentially hazardous potions are legal is no argument to bring pot onto retail shelves. But it’s hard to make a case for fairness when one person’s method of relaxation is cause for arrest while another’s lands him on a Monday night football ad.

Tax and regulate. Already, 18 states and the District of Columbia allow medical use of marijuana. This chaotic and unregulated system has resulted in price-gouging, phony prescriptions and outright scams. No wonder the pot dispensaries have opposed legalization – it could put them out of business.

Washington State officials estimate that taxation and regulation of licensed marijuana retail stores will generate $532 million in new revenue every year. Expand that number nationwide, and then also add into the mix all the wasted billions now spent investigating and prosecuting marijuana cases.

With pot out of the black market, states can have a serious discussion about use and abuse. The model is the campaign against drunk driving, which has made tremendous strides and saved countless lives at a time when alcohol is easier to get than ever before. Education, without one-sided moralizing, works.

Lead. That’s what transformative presidents do. From his years as a community organizer – and a young man whose own recreational drug use could have made him just another number in lockup – Obama knows well that racial minorities are disproportionately jailed for these crimes. With 5 percent of the world’s population, the United States has 25 percent of its prisoners – and about 500,000 of them are behind bars for drug offenses. On cost alone – up to $60,000 a year, to taxpayers, per prisoner – this is unsustainable.

Obama is uniquely suited to make the argument for change. On this issue, he’ll have support from the libertarian right and the humanitarian left. The question is not the backing – it’s whether the president will have the backbone.

VIA

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I fucking hate this winter swag so fucking much

I absolutely can not stand mugs that have this type of winter hat swag. There’s always one dude at every party or every bar that insists on wearing this fucking hat the entirety of the night. Like really? This is the dude you want to be? All the options out there in the world and this is the swag you wanna go with? You’re happy with being winter swag hat guy?

This hat gets you no bitches. These are the people that wear this hat:

1. The dude that dominates the beruit (beer pong) table all night: SWEET bro, you won like 4 consecutive games, this would have been dope in high school. But all this gets you at this age is that puzzled look on your face at the end of the night like “Where did all the bitches go?”. The bitches went home with MEN not wearing this stupid ass hat or Men that didn’t spend their entire night freaking out about meaningless games that aren’t even sanctioned by the WBPT (World Beer Pong Tour).

2. The self proclaimed, “funny man”: This poor bastard gave up so early in life it’s fucking depressing. Just called it quits and went with the whole funny man act. These are some of the most delusional people on the planet. It’s the same thing I tell bitches all the time, just because you’re not COMPLETELY busted, doesn’t mean you’re hot. Same concept applies here, just because you’re not  good looking but also not a nerd, doesn’t make you funny.  99% of the time these are the least funny people you know, but for some reason they tricked people into thinking they are, then just prey around parties hoping for the trickle down effect. For some reason these dudes gravitate towards these hats like no one else. For them, this hat represents everything they think they are; humorous and a standout.  All I see is an ugly motherfucker in a stupid ass hat that gets no bitches. This dude from Not Another Teen Movie exemplifies this character:

3. Meat Head, Big Jacked Dude, Wrestler Lookin Motherfucker: I’m not saying you have a small dick, but you’re overcompensating for something son. No real dude goes through this much trouble for pussy, no one. You’re gonna spend all your free time in the gym to balloon up AND wear this stupid ass hat to standout? It’s just a little too much, something isn’t right here. The other side of this is sometimes when you’re one of the bigger dudes in your group of friends or social scene, you think you can get away with this shit because you’re so big no ones gonna say shit to you or question you. As a 6’8 male, I have been guilty of this where I wear some outlandish shit because I think I’m cool cause no one can fuck with me. But if you look at your pictures a few weeks removed, you’ll see you just look like a GIANT clown.

4. Hipsters and Fake Hipsters: Honestly I would need weeks maybe even months to really write down exactly how I feel about these people. Trust me, I have mad complex, complicated, and even confused emotions about this subject, it’s not all hate. Some of my best friends in the world are hipster-ed out. I will say this though, to all the fake hipsters of this world, there is a special place in Hell for you.

5. Hot Bitches: Honestly, not a fan of this look but you bitches can wear whatever the fuck you want.

6. Ugly Bitches: Same shit as #2 really, for some reason bitches that aren’t completely disgusting think they’re like “cool, down to earth chicks, and one of the guys”. These bitches always wear this hat. I don’t get it at all, it totally blows your cover. The point is to stay incognito until around 4am when it’s your time to shine babe (If you think I’m degrading to women, read all my post including this one, talking shit about ugly guys before you send me some fucking email. I judge everyone motherfucker, don’t think you bitches are special).

7. The one black dude in an all white group of friends: A disturbing trend I noticed in recent years is the one black dude in all white groups is starting to rock this hat. Listen, I was the only white dude in a lot of all black groups, so I understand this identity crisis. But you didn’t see me walking around in a fucking du-rag. That’s the equivalent to what you are doing here, basically putting on the whitest hat you can find. It’s not a good look son, buy a lacrosse stick before you buy this shit.

8. Lost Souls: God’s Speed to you all.

9. People from Russia, Antarctica, the Poles, Eskimos: Nothing bad to say here. This shit makes perfect sense. This is a very useful item of clothing to own when you live in these places. I’m talking about dickheads that wear this shit in New York City and fucking L.A. and shit. If you live in the North Pole wear whatever you want I respect you. And if you go on a ski trip (ow) or some shit I can deal with this hat too, it’s the regular, every day motherfuckers that make me sick.

@Wave_Bandana

 

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By Any Meals – @HoodChef and @AristotleBAM Help Feed Hundreds

Our culture has decided that once a year we’re going to have a day called Thanksgiving. We’re supposed to think about our lives and take the time to recount what we are grateful for. To be honest, I know personally for me, Thanksgiving is more about food and football. Yea I’m a privileged fucking asshole. You know who isn’t? A dude named Hood Chef.

He’s a 30 year old Brooklyn native who travels the world trying to mesh urban culture with the culinary world. You know what he did on Thanksgiving? He fed over 500 people with the help of Aristotle over at By Any Means and Dorell Wright of the 76ers. 

I’m not gonna front the food was so goddamn banging. Sorry mom, but the plate Hood Chef hit me with at 2AM at Elite’s crib was CRAZY. Turkey was so goddamn moist. Mac and Cheese was banging. The stuffing… fuck man, the stuffing was like the food equivalent of a fadeaway jumper that just splashes through the bottom of the net. Stuffed mushrooms fam. CRAZY.

But you know what’s even crazier then how banging the food was? It was the crew that made this happen. It wasn’t a church. It wasn’t a school organization. It wasn’t the boy scouts. It was a group of weed smoking, rap listening, foul mouthed young people that made this happen. All I could think of while crushing the plate Hood Chef blessed me with was how many fake deep, self righteous ass motherfuckers out in the world spent the day arguing about dumb shit with family.

I could only think of all those Mitt Romney ass motherfuckers out in America in their comfy Brooks Brothers sweaters talking about the 47%. I’m sitting there with a plate of food that a person I didn’t know prepared for me out of the kindness of his heart and all I could think of was how close minded all the pretentious ass fucks in AMerica would look at Hood Chef and his crew of Locos/Locas and immediately say some dumb shit about them. 

I’m thankful for what I have and most importantly the people that keep showing up in my life. I learn from them every day. Hood Chef taught me that I gotta do better and help those that don’t have it as good as I do. Hope you had a good turkey day. 

@oakshades


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Pepto Mook

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The fiends involved aren’t going to like me blogging this, but fuck it, we’ve been cracking up making jokes about Pepto Mook all day, I figured I’d share. Last week I talked about the 2 funniest strands (in terms of names) of mook the Super Mookin Fiends ever got their fiended hands on; The Hellen Keller Mook (makes you go blind and deaf) and the Bloody Haze (2 people were killed bringing it across the boarder).  It appears a knew challenger has emerged…Pepto Mook.

So basically last night me, @oakshades, @LloydBankfiend, and Fiend Geo bought a hundred of this Pepto Mook. We didn’t know at the time it was Pepto Mook. So we mooked the shit out of that mook, and then roughly around midnight it began. @oakshades shat his brains out all night. I started shitting from about 6am until now, Fiend Geo and Bankfiend have been shitting all day as well. I don’t want to get graphic but the shit total number in our group has to be near the 30s in the last few hours.

We didn’t realize we were all shitting our brains out cause we kept that on the d/l for obvious reasons, but enough was enough for me after like my 5th shit and I had to break the ice. I came clean to my friends and was more than relived to find out it wasn’t just me:

And so “Pepto Mook” was born. I’m not going to lie, I ate an entire Dominos pizza, Cheesy Bread, and Cina-Stix by myself last night. Like all three of those things in one sitting, 100% solo. Crushed it. @Oakshades ordered nasty ass diner food from some shitty as place. Fiend Geo made the grossest, piece of shit frozen Italian dinner you have ever seen in your life. @LloydBankfiend actually didn’t eat anything, but that’s because I’m pretty sure he has a closet eating disorder (which is good, because he serves as the control here in this experiment).

Now, to keep the scientific integrity here I had to reveal that information to you. But truth is, we have some of the worst diets on the planet, so it be tough to blame all the shitty food I just described. That’s pretty much a standard dinner for the fiends, and in the past we have never had this issue. I doubt 3 different sources all had food poisoning. Not to mention @LloydBankfiend is the control here and didn’t eat, and he is still feeling it.

The only real logical explanation is we bought Pepto Mook.

So the question of the week is; would you smoke Pepto Mook? It gets you really mooked.

PS – I have some Pepto Mook left, I can’t wait to get home and smoke it.

@Wave_Bandana

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@Diplo and Dos Equis Give Us The Most Interesting Thursday Night We’ve Had In A While

So last week I was at the crib feeling all sickly and shit, when I was sent an email about a Dos Equis party with Diplo spinning. I hit the fiends and was like “YOOOO we should prolly go and wyle”. The fiends agreed so we RSVP’d and moved the fuck on. Fast forward to yesterday, Thursday, when we realized that we didn’t know a goddamn thing about what the fuck was popping for the night. After doing some research all I could find out was that Diplo was spinning, the party was at a spot on 24th street and sixth ave and that nobody knew what the fuck was popping for the night. 

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#TeamNoDaughters – The 1st Female Response

A few days ago I forwarded an email to @oakshades I received from a very close friend of mine. This friend of mine is a brilliant mind that I highly respect. She is also a very outspoken and passionate individual, although she actually backs her shit up by dedicating her life to her beliefs and causes.

I highly encourage you to read the first interaction between her and SMF here: #TeamNoDaughters – Butthole Tat

The first article had my inbox flooded with both males and females agreeing with points from both sides. There may never be a complete clear cut answer, solution, or agreement. But one thing we all feel is important is to open up discussion on such topics to get the wheels turning in your head and ultimately create a better society.

Well, after @oakshades’s colorful response my homegirl wanted to chime in. I thought it was only fair to blindside @oakshades back.

@Wave_Bandana

The Response:

I’m going to respond to a very small bit of content…because there is just too much i wanna say. First, @oakshades, our babies would have nice hair, but you probably won’t want to make babies with me after we mook and you think it’s mad chill and then I break down how your porn habit is a collusion with sexism, racism, and worst of all, capitalism. You’ll see my face when you beat off and not in a sexy way. But we can talk more about that when we meet! I can’t wait, either. ;)

Okay. Let’s start with the most recent #TeanNoDaughters post. You were right when you said “everything about this video is fucking sad.” Let’s get critical on that.

So, what makes this so sad?  Is it that women “finger fuck themselves on camera for extra spending money”? Well, that seems like part of it. What else? According to your post, it’s mostly sad because you think about “the fathers out there who birthed daughters–”…wait. What? HAH! We get birthed from the canal of the cunt, my man! I know it’s scary, but that’s our power. Okay, so back to the sad part: Fathers have dumb daughters that make these kinds of videos, and that is really sad. For the fathers.

You have GOT to me kidding me. Right? How do you think that girl got where she is? Awesome parenting, resources, and opportunity to do anything she put her mind too? Homegirl in the video is a product of a society that blames her for the ways it has failed her, oppressed her, silenced her, and made her think this video is all she is worth. Not much at all. That’s the fucking unbelievably sad part. But we blame her? Really? (For more on victim blaming, go herehere, turn on network news, or read what you wrote about the girl who let’s her guard down every time she drinks. Side Note: I never let my guard down, that’s a privilege women dont actually have).

So because of all of this, because of the sicko dudes who just can’t control their sicko selves (this “men can’t help themselves” mantra is a favorite of rapists and rape deniers, fyi, and totally bullshit. Read more about there here), you rather not have daughters. Instead, giant macho sons who will go out into the world as the natural born sickos they believe they are and fuck with other people’s daughters. Am I getting this right? You wouldn’t want to…have a daughter and raise her to love herself, believe her worth extends beyond the value society places on her body, and go in on the dude who talks about her ass like it’s an object he owns. That would make you, like, on #TeamRadDaughters. The No.1 nemesis of #TeamNoDaughters. And I think I know who would win in a fight. (#RadDaughters).

Or better yet, #TeamFeministSons. The kind of dudes who don’t think about fucking the snot out of every girl they interact with. The kind of dude who doesn’t feel his own self worth relies on the objectification and domination of women, and submission to normative gender roles. What if I starting throwing out like #TeamNoBlackPeople because the world is fucking racist and White people can’t help themselves but to be racist…so… better to have no Black folks at all. Where is the fucking logic in that? Somewhere between the white supremacy and justification of genocide?

I know it seems dramatic, and I’ll be told by people I’m over reacting. Oh, the double bind of sexism!

But like I said to @Wave_Bandana, I fuck with #SMF. And I know that being an ally is really fucking hard. But ya’ll could do better. We all could.

PS-  Jokes aside, when you me and @Wave_Bandana hit that mook stick, shit it going to pop off it’s going to be so raucous. I really am looking forward to that shit.

PS PS- For more on being an ally, check this, written to “white allies” who can’t hang. “Having black friends” isn’t enough. Think about how it relates to male allies and the ladies. “Loving women” isn’t enough.

xoxox
- RS

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Nickelback Gets You No Pussy (But I Bet They Do)

Shockingly, Liking Nickelback Will Not Get You Laid

If you like Nickelback, and you like dating, it’s time to start lying on your profile. One dating site says admitting to a love for the band is a dealbreaker for many daters.

The dating site Tastebuds.fm asked 1,600 users for their biggest “musical turnoff.” Nickelback led the pack, followed closely by Justin Bieber. The rest of the top 10: Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Coldplay, U2, Creed, Katy Perry, Lil Wayne and Britney Spears.

Fucking Nickelback? How funny is that shit? Like of all things fucking Nickelback. Such a  bugout man. Most people would make jokes about Nickelback and all that shit but the difference between us is; I actually LOVE pussy. Errrbody knows I’ll bang out an absolute dog no problem and I’ll sleep like a baby next to their busted ass after. This article should be titled “1,600 people don’t really love pussy”. If you won’t fuck a bitch because she likes fucking Nickelback, then son, you don’t really LOVE pussy. You might think you like bitches, but if music selection makes your dick go soft you got a problem my dude. I don’t know shit about Nickelback, but if any good looking bitch asked me to go to a Nickelback concert, I’d be like “fuck yea, I loveeee that Nickelback shit”. I’d sit first row with a Nickelback Tee shirt on and Google all their bitch ass lyrics. And after that, I would fuck the shit out of the Nickelback bitch. You know why? Because I actually, really, truly, LOVE pussy. Shout to all the real homies who aint scared.

Now that I’m done with my pussy rant I have something else to say to people who have dating “dealbreakers”. You people are the sickest fucking people I know. Like you think your shit doesn’t stink so much that you have “dealbreakers”. Like you’re fucking good enough to decide that type of shit. YOU ARE ONLINE DATING. THIS IS YOUR LAST RESORT. How are you so delusional that you don’t realize how fucking much people hate you that you have to online date? I know bitches that are 4,000 pounds and addicted to crack that have boyfriends. Tell me you’ve never seen some disgusting chick on the subway with a boyfriend that listens to her every command! Dudes will fuck ANYTHING! So if you’re even mildly attractive and no one wants to fuck you, NEWS FLASH; you truly are one of the worst humans on the planet. Why don’t you stop worrying about music and all that type of shit and give people a fucking chance. Maybe then you wouldn’t be 40 years old with no ring and fucking online dating. These stuck up, attitudes is why your ass is online dating in the first place. YOU’RE ONLINE DATING, YOU SHOULD TAKE ANY DICK THAT COMES YOUR WAY. FUCK. I just can’t stand this shit I need to give lectures on this shit.

PS – I know a lot of homies that get bitches in real life that use online dating sites just as means to expand their pussy moves. That I’m totally ok with. If you really love pussy you’ll use every possible resource at your disposal. So by no means am I dissing you. But then again, these REAL homies that use the internet as an additional tool, don’t check music selection and all that shit, they go straight to the profile picture. And they sure as hell don’t fill out surveys, so I’m pretty sure you guys knew I wasn’t talking about you the whole time. Keep going hard my dudes.

PPS – Nickelback has without a doubt fucked more bitches than anyone that has an online dating profile combined. If I were them I would read this, laugh, then fuck the wife of whoever wrote this piece of shit article.

@Wave_Bandana

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For Real: How Quickly Will Hope Solo and Jerramy Stevens Get Divorced?

Hope Solo and Jerramy Stevens got married Tuesday night in Washington, just two days after he was arrested for allegedly assaulting her over where they should live.

Solo, the US National team goalie, and Stevens, a former NFL tight end with a rich criminal history, have been dating for two months.

A Seattle radio show tweeted about the wedding this morning, but the only confirmation we’ve seen is from US National soccer team keeper Jillian Loyden, who apparently attended the shitshow. And yes, I’m comfortable calling a mid-week wedding between these two, who have been dating for eight weeks and just had a physical altercation 48 hours ago, a shitshow.

via The Big Lead

Yo, anyone got any open spots in their divorce pool? Because I am SLAMMING my life savings on these two to break it off first.

For one thing I am never going to understand these people that get married this quickly. Marriage is a commitment and it’s not supposed to be easy, hence why half end in divorce. My parents dated forever, were married forever and then got divorced. Shit happens — what’s worse is that it happens to people who gave the prospect legitimate time, thought and effort. EIGHT WEEKS? That’s 56 days. How the fuck do they think this is a good idea?

Another red flag: she’s the more famous one by far. This dude was a mediocre NFL tight end who should be geeked as hell that he bagged up one of the more recognizable and marketable female athletes in the country right now. But nah. You see the details of this report over their spat? Unwelcome party guests, arguing Florida vs. Washington, people hiding next to beds…then getting married? This would be an unbelievably stupid plot on an episode of Real Housewives or some shit.

But the real reason this unholy matrimony is going to last less time than my first sexual experience is because Jerramy Stevens is a certifiable scumbag. No way around it. I mean, you search the dude on Google and his picture is a mugshot. Not a good look bro.

But look at the legal history on this mug’s Wiki. I’m obviously willing to forgive and and all of his weed related offenses. But everything else is awful: driving into nursing homes, assault (including with a deadly weapon), hit and run, drunk driving…all of it. And leaving used condoms on the back porch of his patio to the point that neighbors complained…the fuck?

Worst of all for me has to be the rape he should have obviously been convicted for but got away with cause he was a college football stud. This dude is like a walking billboard for the #teamnodaughters believers. He represents everything that keeps a father up.

From a 2008 report by The Seattle Times:

Stevens’ story made the rounds. A friend of Marie’s heard one football player ask another: Did you hear that Jerramy had sex with Marie in the dirt outside a fraternity?

Meanwhile, Marie and her friends tried to figure out what had happened. Inside Marie’s room, a friend saw a fleece jacket that Stevens wore the night before. The jacket, covered in dirt, appeared to be stained with blood.

About 9:30 that night, Marie got Stevens on the phone, she later recounted to police. What happened? she asked. Stevens told Marie he’d walked her home. “We kissed and some stuff,” he told her. Did we have sex? she asked. “No,” he told her. “Don’t trip, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Late that night, Marie went to the university hospital, across the street from Husky Stadium. She got a shot for nausea and was directed to Harborview Medical Center for a sexual-assault exam.

Marie’s parents went with her. The medical staff found semen in her vagina and rectum, and a doctor told Marie that her anus had been lacerated.

This awful story ended with a $300,000 settlement somehow. I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure that’s a rape.

Hope Solo had to have known all of this. And she still said “I do.” So maybe I don’t feel bad for her after all — maybe she’s just not very smart.

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Recount! – Jennifer Aniston Named Sexiest Woman Of All Time By Men’s Health Magazine

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Holy shit. I am so fucking sick and tired of these lists. First off, they are never fucking right. Not even close. At least with the whole “Sexiest male/female of the Year awards” they take into account how “hot” they are in the industry as well as looks. I don’t agree, but I can understand that. A Bitch that’s a 8 but is in all the big time movies and is a super millionaire is gonna be “hotter” than a broke ass, non-famous 10 (for that year at least).

But this shit just really blew my mind. What fucking balls Men’s Health has. Sexiest woman of ALL TIME?!?! This just shows you how badly we need all these old people to die and our generation take over when it comes to media. I’m supposedly in the main target demographic for Men’s Health and they have consistently shown they are completely our of touch with my generation and target.

You’re trying to tell me this bitch is the sexiest bitch off all time? Jennifer Aniston is the sexiest female to ever walk the earth???? Does that not enrage you? Like no she’s fucking not. She’s not the sexiest of bitch of all time. This is fucking blasphemy how are you guys out there not more upset?

Let’s suspend our disbelieve for a second and look at the facts. Ignore the fact that there was girl in your hometown/highschool/college that looked better than her. Ignore the fact that she’s not even the hottest celebrity this decade let alone all time. Ignore the fact that she’s famous for TELEVISION and not movies. Ignore the fact that you see hotter bitches everyday walking around NYC, LA or any major city. Ignore the fact that I met a stripper in a shit hole club in NJ that looked 8X better than her. Ignore the fact that if you Google “hot chicks” at least 80 pictures of hotter chicks come up then Jen. Ignore the fact that every single Victoria’s secret model and Si Swimsuit model is 100 times hotter.

Let’s just play by Men’s Health rules for a second. Just simple logic will refute this asinine claim right away (PS – I think saying “refute this asinine claim” is almost as douchey as “Sorry for partying”). If you look at the rest of their list, Angelina Jolie is number 10. If Aniston is truly the sexiest bitch alive then she would NEVER get played out. But Brad Pitt played her for the #10 bitch. You’re telling me that the #1 Sexiest bitch lost to the #10 bitch? I know this isn’t the BCS but usually if you lose to someone ranked below you, your ranking goes down. What kind of world is this? Can you imagine if we just kept UNC as the #1 team even thought hey already lost 2 games to teams below them? This shit makes no sense!!!

If she was really number 1, then she would never get played out ever. In fact, every man in the world would play their bitch out for a shot at her. That’s the rule, always upgrade, never downgrade. So then why is every celebrity under the sun playing this bitch out??? Why doesn’t she have a fucking boyfriend? Why isn’t she married? It’s cause plain and simple SHE IS NOT THE ONE.

Look, I’m tired of this bitch winning “Sexiest” anything awards. This bitch is 50 years old. You can’t be 50, and get played out and tossed around like the first girl middle school/high school (depending where you live) that gives a BJ and be fucking #1. You can’t be #1 and lose to bitches ranked lower than you. There are probably 1,000 girls I can think of that are hotter. This shit makes me sick to my stomach. Like she’s sexier than Adrian Lima??? OR Bar Refaeli???? Get the fuck out of my face with this shit.

Fuck you Men’s Health, hire some people under the age of 70 to write your shit.

@Wave_Bandana

lol this quote from @oakshades cracked me up: “I’m sorry but this is like saying Glenn Rice was the best hooper of all time.”

Actually hold up I’m not done yet, click more:

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Elmo’s Voice Might Be A Creep

Allegations of sex with a 16-year-old boy have temporarily forced out the man responsible for voicing one of the most beloved Sesame Street characters of all time.

Kevin Clash, who has been the iconic voice of Elmo for the past 28 years, stands accused of engaging in a sexual relationship with an underage teen — allegations Clash denies.

Though he admits to having a relationship with his accuser — now 23 — Clash told TMZ the man was of legal age at the time. “It was between two consenting adults and I am deeply saddened that he is trying to make it into something it was not,” Clash is quoted as saying.

Officials at Sesame Workshop, who have met with the unidentified accuser at least twice, stand by Clash, insisting that no evidence has been produced thus far to prove the claims.

“Kevin insists that these allegations are false and defamatory and he has taken actions to protect his reputation,” Workshop reps said in a statement. “We have granted him a leave of absence to do so.”

For his part, the accuser has sought the legal assistance of Andreozzi and Associates, best known for representing one of Jerry Sandusky’s victims.

According to Andreozzi, Sesame is attempting to “discredit the victim in order to protect its employee and the image of one of its most valuable characters. This approach places a greater value on a puppet than the well being of a young man.”

Damnnnnn.
Nothing is cool about this fucking situation. (No pun was intended but I’m not deleting that cause I love shitty puns.) Anyway my brain could only think of two things while reading this.
1. This nigga might be the Michael Jordan of pedophilia. I mean the dude’s voice is Elmo. You know how many little kids you could fuck IF YOUR VOICE WAS ELMO!!!?!!!!
2. Maybe this dude is just really gay and the young homie is tryna get a young payday?
Regardless of how this is resolved… try not to visualize Elmo tryna buttfuck dudes at the club and never ever fuck with little kids.
@oakshades
PS. Tickle Me Elmo has a whole new connotation.
VIA

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