The Real Dangers of Ecstasy

You know what’s wrong with this video? That it doesn’t say what the true danger of Ecstasy is. The true danger of Ecstasy is that it puts you in a world that doesn’t truly exist. It’s a fake world where attractive girls give you free drugs, DJs play your favorite songs… ON TOP OF YOUR OTHER FAVORITE SONGS, chicks wanna smoke weed with you in fields and talk about positive vibes. Ecstasy makes you a big fucking hippie, makes you lose 10 lbs in a weekend and makes going back to work on Mond… Tuesday fucking terrible.

@oakshades

PS. Oh… That and sometimes you feel your brain. What does that mean? OK. Can you feel your earlobe right now? Or… Can you feel your left ankle? You know it’s there. You know it’s working but you can’t really feel it unless it’s being touched or injured. That’s how my brain feels now and has been feeling for the last 24 hours. It’s not a headache, it’s just present. It’s fucking weird. Till next time.

PPS. Oh and you never want to stop doing it. Like you will just keep flooding your serotonin levels until you’re ready to pass the fuck out and then you wake up in a serious funk cause all your happy juice was used smoking weed and dancing with 35 year old white women to Snoop Dogg performing Doggy Style.

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Super Mookin’ Fiends At Catalpa: Preview

I just wanted to apologize for a lack of posts this week. Especially after such a good last week with some of my highest shared posts ever in Legally Mooked – A Fiend in Jury Duty and Some @Wave_Bandana Thoughts on the Dark Knight Rises. Shouts to @oakshades and @Droog for holding it down.

I was missing because we’re cooking up a few things for Bas, but also heavily preparing for Catalpa. I can’t say which magazine due to legalities and pending negotiations, but a really dope magazine hired SMF and Bas to do some curating for them at Catalpa. So we were pretty focused on that.

I can’t really say anything else or discuss the scope of work. Like I said with the legal side it’s a touchy subject until it’s finalized and everything delivered on our end. But just know, whatever we do is going to be official as fuck. This is a real win for fiends everywhere.

So we look forward to eventually sharing our work with you. Of course we gonna get as much dope content as we can for the site too so watch out for that.

I’m going fucking full retard this weekend. I don’t give a fuck about the Olympics but I’m getting a gold medal in Fiending.

@Wave_Bandana

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New York City’s Pitch For The 2012 Olympics

This shit. I don’t care how you feel about the Olympics, but if you’re a New Yorker this would have been some of the coolest shit ever. And by coolest shit ever I mean a massive influx of even more tourists than usual. And heavy traffic and congestion. And the overload of security on every corner making sure you don’t have an IED taped to your nutsack. Whatever — look at all those new fucking buildings! Would they be useful after the Olympics packed up and left? I don’t know, probably not but they’d still look dope as shit. I would legitimately pick up my badminton habit again until I got scraped off the court by some crafty Asians. Although the logistics of an Olympics is so massive, I don’t care that Beijing in 2008 had like child slaves doing back flips and launching pyrotechnics for the opening ceremony — we’re Americans. We’d top it.

And can you IMAGINE Team USA hoops destroying everyone in sight on their way to a gold medal in Madison Square Garden? It would be the only time Carmelo Anthony had a chance to win something of significance in there! How much would those tickets be? How hard would they be partying in the Meatpacking District? Would Kobe force entry of his Black Mamba into another white chicks butt? These are questions I need answered.

And the wildest thing? The Olympic Village. Just a village of the most athletic people in the world chillin’. Imagine the babies that get made? And if you’re thinking “oh nah, they’re concentrated on sports, they’re not fucking.” Get real! There’s prop bets this year for whether or not the Olympic Village will burn through 150,000 (!!!) condoms! At the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics they made an emergency shipment of 8,500 condoms after the first 100,000 ran out. That’s so much perfect-gened, muscle-toned, fast-running and fiended fuckery.

-Droog

PS: Funniest part of this video is handball at Nassau Coliseum. I live 10 minutes from there and it’s widely considered to be the worst all around arena/stadium in professional sports. Just the sorriest excuse for a sporting facility you’ve ever seen in your entire life. Can’t we get some guys with big ass hoses to at least power wash the outside or something? Half the time you’re walking down the steps you think you’re going to tumble and die because the concrete is not only retardedly steep, it’s also uneven. The Islanders winning Stanley Cups from ’78-’82 is legitimately the last thing that happened there approaching anything resembling significance. Don’t forget that — that’s the last great hockey dynasty. People are legitimately content to let it rot in Uniondale since the Lighthouse Project failed and less than 10% of Nassau County came out to vote on a rehab of the interior. Place is so fucked it’s unbelivable. I almost want people to go there because how much it sucks is an experience in and of itself. But hold on – how disrespectful is that to European Handball? That’s a great sport, and I’m not just saying that because I scored 10 goals in a high school gym class once. I was like fucking Nolan Ryan flinging that ball from the 3 point line, ripping corners. So dangerous cause I was slow and uncoordinated as fuck so I lowered your expectations and then tore up that ass.

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The Cure – J.Cole (Music)

Seeing minds come together to make art happen is a beautiful thing. This artwork was cooked up by my homegirl Annie and my boy Felton. A little creative direction from me and Adam… and Cole murdering the Neptunes breakdown off of ‘Lift Off’ and you get The Cure.

@oakshades

MEDIAFIRE

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“The Joy Of Painting With Bob Ross”, Auto-tuned

Believe…that you can do it. Cause you can do it.

Fuck you Bob Ross, cause I can’t.

Alright I didn’t mean that. Bob Ross is such a hero, and for many reasons: eternal optimist, smooth talker, potentially a huge stoner and white man afro enthusiast. Can you believe this dude spent 20 years in the Air Force, a lot of it as a Master Sergeant? I can’t imagine this guy — who’s talking about the beauty trees and water — going all Full Metal Jacket in some 18-year-old country bumpkin’s  face as he quivers in fear and takes a massive shit in his pantaloons. I just can’t. Doo doo brown as a color is better saved for one of his landscapes.

I don’t know if anyone else watched this guy as a kid, but the entire show made no fucking sense. He’d be working on this masterpiece and he’d be talking about adding a tree and my little mind would immediately go haywire: “No! It’s fine, don’t add a tree you’re going to fuck it up!” Next thing I know, 3 seconds and a few brush strokes later he just plops a diesel set of trees in there and silences squeeky Droog. Watching him again I’m struck by his positivity, because let’s face it, no one can just be Bob Ross. He’s Bob Ross for a reason and clearly he’s never seen me draw. My middle school years were spent drawing stick figures murdering each other because StickDeath.com was awesome, and then high school through college I just filled notebooks with signatures. I’d do my signature, the Yankees roster signatures, bands, whatever. Thousands and thousands of signatures across a trillion pages. If people found these notebooks they’d think I’m schizophrenic or John Doe from Seven.

Although this remix is fire. We need more trance infused with Bob Ross.

-Droog

PS: Clearly people thought: a) Bob Ross burned on the reg, and b) that he was immortal.

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July 2012 Fail Compilation

Andddddd here is your monthly 8-10 minutes of dumb people fucking up.

@oakshades

PS. I highly suggest (pun intended) that you get DUMB mooked and watch this with others on your 50 inch flatscreen HDTV.

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Find Your Greatness – Nike Olympics Commerical

Here is the genius behind this commercial.

The Olympics are known for being superrrrrr strict when it comes to it’s official partners and sponsors. Nike is not one of those official sponsors so they cannot blatantly mention the London Olympics. So they took an almost negative approach to the Olympics…

and then they got Bane to do the voiceover.

Nike > Your favorite brand (unless its USA or Apple or Google cause those three brands are official too)

@oakshades

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Super Mookin Sunday Funday Trailer- Freelancers

THIS

LOOKS

SO

FIRE

@oakshades

PS. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG G-UNIT.

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How Could You Do This Kristen (CRAZY FAN VIDEO)

Sometimes I forget that these people exist. The internet giveth awesome shit like Twitter and YouJizz and taketh away by fucking up people’s heads like this broad. The last time I cried was cause I thought my sister was dying. Fuck is wrong with people thinking they live in a world where celebrities actually give one fuck about them. Shit is creepy.

@oakshades

PS. Leave it to YouTube commenters to kick a weird bitch while she’s down.

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