My god. I just bugged the fuck out when I saw this today. This is a joke right? I’m not talking about the fact that this sneaker is ugly as shit. I mean the whole title and concept is a pun right?
Is pronounced like
Which would be accented slang for
Which is the reason Kobe’s wife is divorcing him. Or of course, the infamous Kobe rape case.
Kobe is basically synonymous with cheating. He’s not number 1, that’s (a) Tiger. But he’s definitively top 5 and I think a strong number 2. So that being said, “Cheetah” is for sure a pun for “cheater” right? Or am I such a sick bastard that I made all this shit up in my head? What other explanation is there?
This motherfuckers name is the Black Mamba. That’s Kobe’s nickname. There is no debating this. Seems to me like the animal of choice was already selected for ya there Nike. Do we really need more animal nicknames for this dude? Sneaker heads and hype beats will bring up the fact that this is just the latest in the line of animal-inspired colorways all played off the Kobe “Predator” concept. Okay, even though I thought all those kicks were busted too, apparently they sold really well. So I understand why they continued this concept, but this doesn’t explain the use of the “Cheetah” with all the other predators out there.
Is a cheetah even that big of a predator? Like real talk, no cheetah puts fear in my heart. Maybe it’s cause I live in NYC, but I’m not worried about cheetahs one little bit (except for my ex girlfriend). But there are plenty of animals that don’t live in this city that scare me. The word “cheetah” doesn’t really carry the life threatening connotation that say “Shark”, “Snake”, or “Bat” does. Like if you went down any street in NYC and yelled “CHEETTAHHHHH” mugs would look at you like, “what the fuck is wrong with you?” Or they would assume you were just calling out your homie named Cheetah from across the street. You yell shark or snake, even in NYC, I swear to God for at least a second you’ll have a fiend’s heart skip a beat. People that deal with cheetahs on the reg, I’m sure would freak out. But I’m going to assume the majority of people that can drop $140 for Kobes don’t deal with cheetahs.
If you were forced to fight any of the Kobe colorways; The Predator, Black Mamba, Great White Shark, or The Cheetah, which one would you choose? 100% Cheetah. I saw The Predator, Anaconda, and Jaws. Fuck that. But I don’t remember any movie about a fucking Cheetah. Real talk, I’ll body a Cheetah.
The point is, a Cheetah is a wack ass animal. Shit is not scary. Cheetahs hold no weight in the hood. There are way better and more vicious predators out there. It makes zero sense to Kobe; he already has an animal inspired nickname. He’s not even the fastest dude on his team, he’s old as hell. The only explanation is Nike just made the funniest joke ever. And smartest joke too, they know all the sneaker heads will put this together in 2 seconds (I’m actually probably months late, they figured this out as soon as it was announced on their sick fucking sneaker forums). This is marketing gold and street cred gold. This is what makes Nike, Nike. I love it.
They might as well named these shits the NIKE ZOOM KOBE VII TIGERS.