Jersey Shore

What a fucking fiend weekend. I love this holiday man. Shouts to the troops.

The Super Mookin’ Fiends all split up this weekend for a variety of different fiend activities and obligations. Bas and the DreamVille team were at it in Vegas for Born Sinner weekend. I was on the campus of Wesleyan U, maybe one of the most fiended colleges in America, committing crimes during my sister’s graduation. The rest were singly handily restoring the Jersey Shore economy post Hurricane Sandy.

The one thing we all had in common is; we all #fiend. Stories to come. For now enjoy a #fiend photo recap.

Friday #FIEND of the Week – THREE WAY TIE

Posted on Friday, May 24, 2013 by @oakshades — No Comments ↓

You’ve no doubt spent the 14 months since Doritos Locos Tacos were introduced wondering how Taco Bell came up with the brilliant idea of turning the popular chips into popular taco shells. If you just assumed this was the work of a dedicated, and probably high, Yum Brands food scientist, Gary Cole is here to tell you that you’re wrong. To be accurate, Cole isn’t here exactly. He’s in the super-max prison in Florence, Colorado.

Cole claims that he, and not Taco Bell, invented Doritos Locos tacos. So he filed a federal lawsuit yesterday in Dallas alleging that the fast food chain, along with Pepsi, Plano-based Frito Lay and Taco Bell parent Yum Brands, stole his idea.

As proof, Cole offers a notarized document he mailed to his attorney in 2006. It’s a list of nine products that Cole lays claim to. Most of them fall under an imagined “Divas and Ballers” brand: hot sauce, alcohol, “health mix,” body oils, et cetera. Ignore all those. The key item on the list is No. 2: “Tacos (sic) shells of all flavors (made of Doritos)”

Poor fuck. You didn’t create the Doritos Locos tacos … I did about 15 years ago as a fucking ten year old. You know what I wouldn’t be doing if I was locked up in a Super-Max prison? Worrying about tacos. I’d be doing anything and everything possible to get the fuck out of SUPER-MAX PRISON. File an appeal or something fam. Don’t waste your goddamn time.

New Jersey Attorney General Jeffrey Chiesa, right, looks on as Michael Halfacre, chief of the New Jersey Division of Alcoholic Beverage Control, talks about an investigation dubbed “Operation Swill,” in which 29 bars and restaurants in New Jersey are accused of putting cheap booze in premium brand liquor bottles and selling it, during a news conference, Thursday, May 23, 2013, in Trenton, N.J. Thirteen of the restaurants cited are TGI Fridays located in central and northern New Jersey.

COME ONNNNNNNNNN. This is some fucked shit. I’ve bartended before. Shit that was my main source of income for a lil run during the Carter days. Don’t get it twisted, I’d say about 75-80% of the bars and clubs you’ve been to swap out well liquor for premiums behind the bar. You order a Bottle of Grey Goose, you get a bottle of Grey Goose. You order a Grey Goose and OJ … you’re getting two shots of the $6 bottle vodka in your Screwdriver. But rubbing alcohol? Fuck is wrong with these people? How much of a money #fiend do you have to be to serve human beings rubbing alcohol? Unfuckingbelievable. And the cops!!!! This niggas had a full blown sting operation on a TGIFridays ring. I feel like I’m watching a comedy central version of Super Troopers.

Easily my favorite fiend of these three fiends. HOW MUCH OF A YAM FIEND DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO BE A JUDGE WHO STEALS THE EVIDENCE AND YAM ALL OF IT???? This is fucking awesome. This is how powerful cocaine is. This nigga. This nigga was a judge. He threw away YEARS of schooling and MAD GUAPPPPP cause he just wanted to yam all of the yams. Do you know how easy it is to buy yams? I could call about 14 different people in my phone right now and we’d be yamming in a heartbeat. This fiend musta been like WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH COCAINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and then stole it all. How many people has this mug locked away for drugs? What a dickhead.

I’m out. It’s time for my inner fiend to takeover for the weekend.

@oakshades

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Serving Sizes

Posted on Monday, May 20, 2013 by @oakshades — No Comments ↓

I’ve been a fat fuck since I was like 12. I noticed the serving size hustle back in like 96. I remember eating cereal and reading the nutritional facts cause I had an inquisitive mind (this was pre-mooking) and realizing that I was eating about 700 calories worth of Granola every day. The next time you crack open a Vitamin Water or some OJ, read the label. Liquid calories are the worstttt and there is no drink that is strictly one serving size. They are always 2.5 servings per drink. This shit is killing us slowly. EAT BETTER…YOUR BODY WILL THANK YOU FOR IT.

@oakshades

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Born Sinner 6/18/13

Posted on Monday, May 20, 2013 by @oakshades — No Comments ↓

Hip-Hop is getting #QWRM2 on May 22, 2013.

Hip-Hop is getting #BornSinner on June 18, 2013.

Hip-Hop aint dead.

Dreamville still out here.

@oakshades

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#Fiend Rations

Posted on Monday, May 20, 2013 by @wave_bandana — No Comments ↓

- The Super Mookin’ Fiends

Via

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Friday Fiend of The Week: Ashley Hunter

Posted on Friday, May 17, 2013 by @wave_bandana — 1 Comment ↓

Man Stabs Friend During Threesome For Not Changing Positions

Ashley Hunter–pictured above, 33, stabbed Orlando Dewitt, 37, during a threesome because he refused to change positions. Hunter and Dewitt (who met in prison) were partying in Fargo, North Dakota when they decided to continue the party at Hunter’s home. The two men began to have a threesome with a women identified as Leticia. During the act, Hunter asked him to change positions with him. When Dewitt refused, the two men started to argue. The argument turned into violence when Hunter pulled a 12 inch knife from under his sofa. Leticia and Dewitt ran into the bathroom. Dewitt decided to make a run for the door, but was stabbed in his left arm. Dewitt grabbed Leticia’s phone off of the table and called 911 in the alley, naked.

Holy shit. That’s what I call a fiend night. Fucking dude-on-dude-on-chick threesome that ends in a stabbing.

If you are going to have a 2 dude threesome, at least do it with a dude named Ashley right? When your telling the story you would be like “yo, I had a crazy threesome last night with Ashley and Leticia”. Everyone would think that’s 2 bitches! Genius.

The only thing I’m gonna say is we shouldn’t jump to conclusions here. The report never specifies exactly what position they were in. That to me is the most insane detail they left out. At first glance Ashley Hunter looks like a true fiend. If he was just getting dome the whole time and wanted to hit, and Orlando wouldn’t switch, I could see how he would be frustrated. But by no means does that deserve a stabbing.

But what if they were making this dude Ashley do something crazy. Like what if they had him held down forcing him to eat Leticia’s ass out while Orlando straddled over him beating cheeks and with each thrust his convict balls smacked against Ashley’s face? Would that not be worth a stabbing potentially?

There are endless, horrific, 2 dude-convict threesome postions I could come up with it. I guarantee some of you would would end up stabbing a motherfucker if it happened to you. So let’s not judge, the real fiend of the week might be Orlando Dewitt.

But most likely this dude Ashley hunter is just a fucking fiend.

@Wave_Bandana / Blogs

PS - Look, there’s two types of dudes out there. Ones that will do a 2 dude threesome and ones that will not. I’m just not that type of dude that could do it. That might be surprising since I’m always screaming about how I’m BOE: Bitches Over Erythang, or that I would rather bang 10 “1s” than 1 “10″. Basically I’ll fuck any bitch and stoop as low as I need to go, but I just can’t picture looking up and seeing @oakshades staring back at me when I’m trying to fuck.

Fiend Gas Station Scam

Posted on Friday, May 17, 2013 by @oakshades — No Comments ↓

As a born and raised New Yorker I don’t fucking understand how this happened. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SELL A STORE TO SOMEONE AND GIVE THEM THE KEYS TO YOUR BUSINESS?

“They seemed regular yet you had that like sense that something was just not right.”

Word? You sensed that? But they copped a Gas Station with faked checks and bounced with $50k

Fake checks? What is this ‘Catch Me If You Can‘? I don’t know anyone other then my shady landlord that accepts checks. It’s 2013 what the fuck is wrong with these fiends?

Next up is the law that says you can’t offer too much of a discount on your gas so the gas market stays high. Word? That sounds like a system where even if there isn’t a gas shortage, the people with the gas could hike the prices up saying that there is a gas shortage. Then they could invade countries that do have gas. All the while maintaining profits and setting up the world cause on the low the home country has been sitting on gas the entire time. Fracking.

Shout out to Jay Kolls. #kollsworld

@oakshades

VIA

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Friday Fiend of the Week: The Perfect Molly

Posted on Wednesday, May 15, 2013 by @wave_bandana — No Comments ↓

I have this fucking certified #fiend of a friend, let’s just call him “Fiend L” to protect his legal name.

Basically this fiend bought a whole bunch of molly for some EDM show this weekend. He was all excited talking about how he found the best Molly connect and all this bullshit all week long. He put together a little fiend bag of all the Mollies and a bunch of other terrible pills. Wrapped it all up nice and put it in his pocket.

BUT…this fucking idiot washed his pants in the laundry with all the pills still in his pants. However, what happened next is either a death sentence or miracle of modern science.

The pills all mixed together with laundry detergent and basically formed one giant super molly pill. AKA, the perfect molly. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s literally a perfect circular ball of molly, Tide, and whatever other fucking fiend pills he had. It’s actually a beautiful sight to see. I don’t even understand how it’s physically possible. It’s the perfect Molly.

So of course Fiend L is going against every recommendation in medical history and heavily contemplating taking the perfect molly at this show this weekend. This has become a pretty polarizing topic amongst The Super Mookin’ Fiends. Half of us think he’s 100% going to die. The other half think it’s going to be the best night of his life.

I know Fiend L the best. I can promise you this moron is going to take it. Regardless, just being the protagonist in this story makes you the Friday Fiend of the Week.

@Wave_Bandana / Blogs

PS – I will report back on this after we see if he lives or dies.

PS – Would you take, “the perfect molly”?

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Is This Good … Or The Softest Shit Ever?

Posted on Wednesday, May 15, 2013 by @oakshades — No Comments ↓

Half of me is like yea I guess this isn’t a bad thing. Parents notoriously are fucking terrible when it comes to sports. And the worst part about the terrible parents is that they are all different variations of the following:

1. My Kid Is The Best – This dude. His kid can do no wrong. He doesn’t ever yell at his kid, he yells at everyone else tho. EVEN HIS KID’S TEAMMATES. Pass it to Johnny. Johnny is wide open. You gotta help Johnny. SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE YOU MAKE JOHNNY PERSONA NON GRATTA YOU FAT FUCK. I knew this kid who was a sick hooper. Could windmill. Could shoot 30 footers. But his dad was so insufferable his entire team HATED him. He had this built in I’m the best attitude that could only be fostered if you were raised by someone telling you that you were the best and that you were entitled to the ball at every moment and you did nothing wrong ever. This nigga got peed on in the showers. STRAIGHT UP. His dad fucked his head up so bad, that everyone hated him and even though he was the best player… he got peed on in the shower.

2. The Loud Mom – Probably the most embarrassing parent cause she means well but she sounds retarded. You know that ‘score a touchdown baby’ moment during a basketball game from like cheesy movies? My mom did that once and the entire gym laughed at me. My mom is white as shit. I’m a 9 year old light skin black kid. The whole crowd looked around for like 12 seconds till they realized my team was looking at me kinda giggling and then BAM the whole gym is laughing at me. It was like an episode of One Tree Hill. Shit was embarrassing as fuck. Loud Moms can also be vicious as fuck. Dudes learn how to shit talk while playing sports growing up. We also know what it feels like to be 10 and having someone scream at them. In my experience playing and coaching, the rudest shit is always screamed by women.

3. The Vicarious Athlete – This motherfucker. I’m gonna have to do everything in my power to not be this dude. I’m a bum. I had hoop dreams. Those dreams were worthless. I shoulda been learning how to code. I shoulda never gave up the piano and Fruity Loops. So naturally when my son or daughter takes an interest in sports I’m gonna try and Tiger Wood the shit outta them. BUT, you don’t wanna be that father. The one who charts every shot and screams at the kid for failing. The dad who loves the game more then the kid does. I don’t wanna be this guy. I probably gonna be this guy.

4. The Dead Beat – Don’t be the drunk parent. Don’t be the parent that doesn’t show up. Don’t be the parent that doesn’t care. It’s that simple. We’ve all seen it. It’s awful.

Anyway so yea this sign is a good thing but shit these lil kids growing up these days are soft as fuck. My sister was nasty at hoops but she was even better at getting in bitches’ heads. She was like Ron Artest shit was hysterical. She got a Technical Foul for telling a girl that her mommy doesn’t love her cause she misses layups. The girl cried on the court. I was dying laughing. Some of the meanest shit has been said to me during sports but I’ve brushed it off. It made me learn that people can flip on/off the nasty. But yea I guess as a whole there are probably more kids that can’t handle being called a Nigger during a football game vs those who can.

@oakshades

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MATRIX

Posted on Wednesday, May 15, 2013 by @oakshades — No Comments ↓

‘I’M TRYING TO FREE YOUR MIND, NEO. BUT I CAN ONLY SHOW YOU THE DOOR. YOU’RE THE ONE THAT HAS TO WALK THROUGH IT.’

The Matrix 1999

VIA

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