Here it is. It’s the list that no one can ever agree on, simply because there are so many good choices. I’m talking the most iconic video game weapons, people. We’ve only chosen five, and they’re probably not the five you would have chosen. Or they might be too mainstream for your tastes. But they’re recognizable. You know them. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be able to dispute their inclusion on the list. We’re ready for a little dissension in the ranks, though, as we bring you the top five most iconic video game weapons of all time.

BFG 9000, Doom
Master Sword and Shield, The Legend of Zelda
Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, Portal
Buster Sword, Final Fantasy VII
Mega Buster, Mega Man


Fucking nerds. The best weapons of all time are as follows:

The Golden Gun, 007

Do I need to explain why this is the best weapon of all time? Fiends wouldn’t even play 007 if I was in a 10 mile radius. I ran motherfuckers in that shit.

Star, Mario Kart

Nothing like being in 6th place with less then a lap to go and getting one of these bad boys. Steam roll like 4 people and catch one more cube right before the homestretch. Sidebar, what did you fiends call the prizes things? Cubes? That’s what I called them for a lack of better name.

Mike Vick, Madden 2004

UNFUCKINGSTOPPABLE. That Double RB formation could not be stopped. I don’t think I lost in Madden 04 for about 8 months straight. Placed 134th in the country at a Gamestop tourney. It’s a shame there wasn’t like a real Madden league back then, I’d have been akin to MJ.

Shotgun, Halo 3

How do you cancel out the fact that you kinda have a semi-serious life between Hoops, College, Work + Internships and can’t be that dope with a Battle Rifle? You learn the maps, find the Shotgun and go on killing sprees by shotty blasting little asain mugs in the fucking face.

Iron Man’s Shoulder Cannon, Marvel vs Capcom 2

One of the best games ever. Dreamcast all day errrrrrrry day. Iron Man + War Machine + ANYONE ELSE = UNSTOPPABLE. That Shoulder Cannon move could get like 60 hits of damage if you did it at close range. Nobody at Chuckee Cheese wanted to see this chubby ass fiend.

Back to work.


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