September 11, 2001

Around 1 or 2 am my mom woke me up. I was pretty out of it. My mom knew it was finna be the third day of High-School tomorrow. I was tired as fuck from football practice. What the fuck was she doing awaking me from the dream I was having about this fucking absolutely bad as fuck greek chick named Maria that I met the day before and who would be sitting next to me during first period in about 8 hours.

Derick come look at this. HURRY!

After a quick check to make sure I wasn’t mid 13 year old raging hard on, I hopped out of bed, woke up my little sister from the floor and went into my parent’s bedroom. My fiend pops was standing at the window and told us that the shit going on was crazy. We got to the window and there was an oil tanker on fire. I don’t even know if it was technically an oil tanker but that motherfucker was huge and had anywhere from 12 to 18 wheels so I’m calling that shit an oil tanker. It was pretty tweaked the fuck out man. I’m from a group of buildings called LeFrak City in Queens. My building is dead smack on the Long Island Expressway (this is 100% going to contribute to me having lung cancer in 10 years so hurry the fuck up @Science and figure out a cure for that bullshit please.)

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FIVE CRAZY WAYS SOCIAL MEDIA IS CHANGING YOUR BRAIN

Social media is 100% making me hate people way more. It’s also weirdly making me attracted to emo white chicks at home that are pretty damn funny when it comes to being an emo white chick at home.

I’m def starting to hate alot of the mugs on my Twitter TL.

@oakshades

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#FiendFridays


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The perfect manaja twa.

#FIENDS #DREAMVILLE

@Wave_Bandana / Blogs

PS – When I die, burry me next 2 fiend bitches.

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Friday Fiend Of The Week: Coffee Nutter

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A Minnesota hardware store employee has been arrested after admitting that he repeatedly jerked off on a coworker’s desk, ejaculating into her coffee, because he was attracted to her and wanted her to notice him.

John R. Lind, 34, told police he came in the woman’s coffee cup twice since February, and finished on her desk another 4 times, using one of her scrunchies to wipe up the mess. Police say Lind told them he knew his actions were “gross and wrong.”

The coworker did eventually notice Lind, catching him at her desk with his hands on his crotch. She told police he turned around and looked at her like “a deer in the headlights.” He tried to cover by telling her he’d just come in to ask her a question, but the gross evidence was damning.

The worker told police she inspected her desk and found fluid on the surface, dripping onto the floor. A lot of it had been absorbed into her hair scrunchy, which she put into a plastic bag. When at the scene, officers collected her coffee mug, coffee and scrunchy.
The coworker also said Lind had approached her with his zipper down so many times that she was considering reporting him for harassment. He now faces two counts of criminal sexual conduct, with the possibility of a year in jail and a $4,500 fine.

The victim told police she had noticed her coffee tasted strange recently—more than just two times since February—and she initially suspected spoiled cream. After they told her what Lind had admitted to, she said “I knew it.”

VIA:

Well, I hope that ruined your morning cup of coffee like it did mine. SPOILED CREAM.

Friday Fiend of the Week celebrates the accomplishments and also ridiculous retarded shit fiends do. There are good fiends  and bad fiends. I think you can figure this one out.

Seriously, out of all the shit I read this week trying to find the biggest fiend, this shit stood out like a motherfucker. What a fucking psycho.

Lmfao, honesty, I can’t stop laughing. Do you know how fucking bat shit crazy you have to be to think like this? Out of all the billion ways to try and get a chick’s attention, and he went with nutting on her desk and in her coffee. That is literally fucking insane. How does that thought process even work? How do you not at least send a dick pick or something first to warm it up? You can’t go straight for the coffee nut. Foreplay, fiend.

All kidding aside. We, the male species, have to stop being so fucking creepy with women. First and foremost, they are equal human beings and we are not acting like it. We’re acting like a bunch of fucking animals and that shit is not cool or fair to them at all. Secondly, we are fucking it up for all of us! Every time a dude does some shit like this, he is literally cock-blocking the entire male race. You know how mad you get when your homie cock-blocks you? You need to get this mad every time you see an article like this. Cause they are indirectly cock-blocking us by making chicks more freaked out by how weird and creepy we are, making shit even harder. It’s bad enough in the back of every chick’s mind when I approach them, they are thinking “Is this bro gonna murder me and chop me into little pieces?” Now they are thinking “is this bro gonna nut in my coffee?” too.

Word of advice to you dudes out there. Just ask a chick out! Don’t nut in her coffee and shit. I’m telling you, as simple as that seems, that shit works! Legit ask her out to dinner: “Hey would you like to go out to dinner sometime?” Not, “do you wanna chill” or “we should do something”. Straight forward with a tangible proposition. Most of the time, they respect the courage and are really attracted to the confidence it takes to do this. If they say no, then half the time that confidence might still open the door later down the line, and if not, WHO CARES? You’ll be in the exact same place you are now and at least you don’t have to deal with the “what if” anymore. Just move on.

Nutting in a chick’s coffee to try and get with her. Jesus christ.

@Wave_Bandana / Blogs

PS – Do you think if we had legalized prostitution, there would be less of these weirdos? I know there is a lot to that argument, but sometimes I think if we had a place where these guys could safely blow off some steam perhaps they wouldn’t go completely bat shit crazy? I dunno, just thinking out loud here.

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Meanwhile In Russia – Road Rage

What?

Those fiends musta been driving around purposefully looking for a fight.

I’m both mad intrigued by Russia … and maddddd shook of Russia.

@oakshades

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#FIENDS in Seattle

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In honor of the NFL season kicking off in Seattle tonight.

Never Fiendless in Seattle.

@Wave_Bandana / Blogs

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Brazilian Town Inhabited Almost Entirely By Women Between Ages 20-25, Looking For Single Men – AKA A FUCKING DEATHTRAP

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Noiva do Cordeiro, Brazil is a small town with a unique twist that is getting it a lot of attention. There are almost no men within the town’s borders.

According to Yahoo, Noiva do Cordeiro’s 600 residents are almost all single women between the ages of 20-25. Husbands are not welcome except on weekends and once sons turn 18, they are encouraged to leave.

“The only men we single girls meet are either married or related to us…. We all dream of falling in love and getting married. But we like living here and don’t want to have to leave the town to find a husband.” says 23-year old resident Nelma Fernandes.

The motivation for the way the town is set up is a direct result of its history: The town was founded in 1891 by Maria Senhorinha de Lima, who had been excommunicated as an adultress after leaving a man she had been forced to marry. Over time, she was joined by other single women and female-headed families, and the insular society came into being. In the 1940s, an evangelical pastor, Anisio Pereira, took one of the town’s 16-year-old girls as his wife and founded a church there, imposing strict puritanical rules. When he died in 1995, the town’s women determined that they would never again be subject to male domination, and they dismantled Pereira’s church.

The town hopes to attract more men by inviting them to come visit. Interest is very high gauging by it’s website, which has crashed due to all of the traffic. However, if allowed to move to Noiva do Cordeiro, men must follow all rules set forth by the women of the town, including religion, farming, town planning and other guidelines.

VIA:

NOPE.

NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. HELL NO.

I’ve seen this fucking movie, it’s called The Wicker Man with Nicholas Cage.

This is literally the exact plot of Wicker man. An all female town where women lure single men in, make it seem awesome, use them to breed, then fucking MURDER AND BURN ALL THE MEN ALIVE IN SOME SICK HARVEST RITUAL.

I can not stop laughing about how fucking sketchy this is and how much it’s like the Wicker Man. Anyone that has seen what some critics consider to be a top 10 worst movie of all time knows exactly what I’m talking about.

Have you ever seen a craigslist post with some chick saying “Hot girl looking for a dude with no strings attached. Just want night of sex” or “looking for single men for orgy” ?? If you’re not a craigslist creep, I know you have at least seen those dating website ads for adult friend finder or services that connect you with hot women that are looking strictly for sex.

Do you know why those shits are fake 100% of the time?

BECAUSE SHIT LIKE THAT DOES NOT EXIST!!! IF SOMETHING IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, THEN IT’S NOT. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO SINGLE WOMEN LOOKING FOR DUDES.

This Brazilian town is like all that craigslist and adult friend finder scams on steroids. Don’t be a fucking idiot. There is no such thing as an island of all single hot chicks looking for dudes. IT DOES NOT EXIST. If it did, they certainly wouldn’t tell us fiends about it.

Always read the between the lines and the fine-print. The town was founded by women that got scorned by men. Literally created a town that is based on women that hate the shit out of men. What do you think decades of these hatin ass bitches has taught their children about men for generations? Now they WANT men? THEY KICK THEIR SONS OUT. Come one. And here’s the fine-print: However, if allowed to move to Noiva do Cordeiro, men must follow all rules set forth by the women of the town, including religion, farming, town planning and other guidelines.

You are absolutely cooked if you go here. I promise you will end up burned alive like Nick Cage.

But fuck it, who is trying to plan a trip?

@Wave_Bandana / Blogs

PS – If you have or haven’t seen wicker man you need to watch this. Literally the best shit ever. I’ve never cried in my life like that when Nick Cage roundhouse kicks that chick.

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#FESTIVALFIENDS | Made In America 2014

On Saturday we mobbed out to Philly for Made In America.

We got Lit off unlimited cans of Bud Heavy and Thot Juice.

Then we spent the day bouncing from stage to stage.

#FESTIVALFIENDS

@oakshades

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New #FIENDS Merch NOW Available on FIENDSHOP.com

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FIENDSHOP.com

Some NEW FIRE going into FIEND FALL 2014.

U NEED IT.

FIENDSHOP.com

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#FiendFriday

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It’s been a really fiended summer and a crazy ride for us.

We got Bas and Cole at Made In America tomorrow in Philly, let’s close this motherfucker out right.

FIEND OUT THIS WEEKEND. LAST WEEKEND OF THE SUMMER. MAKE IT COUNT.

@Wave_Bandana / Blogs

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