Our new Small Business banker was mad confused as to why I was opening a small business account in a rocawear sweatsuit and construcsts. Nigga looked at me like I was a time travelling drug dealer visiting him from 2002. Half hour later he’s bumping Dying Fast and asking me when the next time we got a show or party is. EVERYONE IS A FIEND.
The problem: More than 3,200 people are on the waiting list for a heart transplant in the United States. Some won’t survive the wait. Last year, 340 died before a new heart was found.
The solution: Take a pig heart, soak it in an ingredient commonly found in shampoo and wash away the cells until you’re left with a protein scaffold that is to a heart what two-by-four framing is to a house.
Then inject that ghost heart, as it’s called, with hundreds of millions of blood or bone-marrow stem cells from a person who needs a heart transplant, place it in a bioreactor — a box with artificial lungs and tubes that pump oxygen and blood into it — and wait as the ghost heart begins to mature into a new, beating human heart.
Doris Taylor, director of regenerative medicine research at the Texas Heart Institute at St. Luke’s Episcopal Hospital in Houston, has been working on this — first using rat hearts, then pig hearts and human hearts — for years.
She has grown rat and pig hearts, but not human hearts — yet. That’s her goal. It’s most likely years off, but it’s a pretty sure bet it will happen.
Researchers believe the human hearts, just like the animal ones, won’t be rejected because they’ll be custom-made using the recipient’s stem cells. That means future transplant patients won’t have to take anti-rejection medication and won’t have to put up with the side effects that accompany those drugs: an increased risk of high blood pressure, diabetes and kidney failure. They won’t have to undergo dozens of heart biopsies. And they won’t have to worry about the pain, time and expense of a second transplant.
“And the nice thing about this technology,” Taylor says, “is that it will work with any organ or tissue. So it’s not just about hearts.” Kidneys, livers, lungs, pancreases.
They’ll be growing those, too.
THIS BITCH IS GONNA END THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT.
1. This don’t sound like the perfect intro to a zombie movie? Way better then the cancer shit in 28 Days Later.
2. Come again btw. All you gonna do is shampoo a heart and then reinject it with stem cells and we’re immortal?
3. Have Republicans been fighting stem cell research because this whole time they’ve actually had access to old alien technology that has allowed the same rich homies stay alive forever COUGH COUGH ILLUMINATI COUGH COUGH
4. Seriously tho. How we still fighting about stem cells and shit. We gotta pursue it right? We have to. Only way to save the NFL is by figuring out how to replace homies brains and shit.
5. Kobe already had this procedure done on his achilles which is how he’s already back from one of the most debilitating injuries in the world.
6. This shit is the perfect explanation of what science should be. Scary, Cool as fuck, and also GROSS.
So I’m at this shitty bar in some random town in CT. I was there for a graduation which was a great time, but I stayed an extra night so I needed something to do.
I was just posted up at the bar drinking when some random fiend started talking to me. Now I’ve never met him before, I wasn’t sure if he was a fiend, but he certainly had all the familiar symptoms of a fiend. He was one of those dudes that dressed well enough to disguise his inner fiend, but his eyes told me he had been drinking for 12 straight hours and had Zanie Bars for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
He approached me cool though so I didn’t really mind the company. Plus at this point I’m used to it. Number one, because of Newton’s Law of Fiend: Fiend’s Attract. It’s a scientific fact that fiends have an unexplainable magnetic connection that just makes us gravitate to each other. Has a stranger ever asked you where they can find drugs before? That’s a basic example right there. Fiends just know. Also, number two, I’m a 6’8 fiend. It’s impossible not to say something to the super tall fiend in the room when you are getting fucked up. Impossible.
Anyway, me and this fucking fiend are talking about stupid shit. We got on the subject of picking up chicks. I commended him for being out solo drinking, I think that’s a genius strategy. A lot of people don’t realize it, but if hooking up with someone is your top priority, solo drinking is the move. It’s the most nimble way to navigate. You don’t have worry about the bagage of your friends and whether or not there’s a friend for them or if they start bitching that they want to leave while you’re in the middle of kicking game. Haven’t you ever seen Californication? Solo drinking is Hank’s go-to move. I have some friends that have been making a killing of this shit for years.
After giving him my whole POV on solo drinking, dude turns to me and says “Bro, solo drinking is great, but you know what the real move is? Birth Control Pill Alarm Hunting”.
Birth Control Pill Alarm Hunting. Wow.
I told him you are going to have to elaborate on that one fiend.
He looked at me and said, “Every night when I go out, at least once I hear an alarm clock go off on a random girl’s phone. They will look at it, and say ‘shoot’ and then take their Birth Control pill. Those are immediately the girls I go after the whole night. Because you know they get down”.
I’m not sure if that was the most disgusting or genius shit I’ve ever heard, but he’s fucking right.
I’ve definitely noticed and commented on this before. I’ve had plenty of GFs that have set birth control reminder alarms on their phone. So whenever I’m at a restaurant, or some public place and I hear a PM Alarm go off on a girl’s phone I always joke like “Awww shit, she’s on that birth control….”
But that’s always the extent of it. Just a little dirty joke and laugh. I never thought about basing my entire hook up strategy around girls with birth control alarms because “you know they get down”.
Lol, I’m sorry ladies but that is the funniest shit I’ve ever heard of in my life. I felt obligated to share this story with the world. I mean he’s kinda right. Unless you REALLY are only using that shit to regulate your periods, chances are, if you are on BC you probably are having sex or at least open to the idea. I want to defend ya’ll but it’s a hard argument to go against.
Birth Control Alarm Hunting. HAHA. I can’t even say that shit without laughing. What an offensive concept. Such a fucking fiend. A 2013 version of Jay and Silent Bob:
PS – Honestly no females better give me shit for this. I know it’s offensive but don’t kill the messenger. At least I’m showing ya’ll the type of shit you have to deal with out there. Anyway I don’t see any difference between this shit and women who strategically go after men based on their car or something materialistic. Male or female. We are all humans and all equally awful people.
What a fucking fiend weekend. I love this holiday man. Shouts to the troops.
The Super Mookin’ Fiends all split up this weekend for a variety of different fiend activities and obligations. Bas and the DreamVille team were at it in Vegas for Born Sinner weekend. I was on the campus of Wesleyan U, maybe one of the most fiended colleges in America, committing crimes during my sister’s graduation. The rest were singly handily restoring the Jersey Shore economy post Hurricane Sandy.
The one thing we all had in common is; we all #fiend. Stories to come. For now enjoy a #fiend photo recap.
So I had another pregnancy scare and like always for a few days I was freaking the fuck out. Especially now since I’m getting too old for an abortion. I passed that age where I can use the excuse of “not being ready yet”. I’m past the point where I can give it up for adoption too. I could support a love child. Plus I don’t want that little bastard growing up resenting me and making the NBA without me.
So normally when these scares happen, I spend a few panicked hours Googling shit about trimesters, Planed Parenthood hours of operations, and cliffs I can jump from. But this time since I was ready to just accept my fate, I decided to use my time more efficiently. I started to come up with baby names for my bastard child. Here is where I netted out. Read more ›
I have this fucking certified #fiend of a friend, let’s just call him “Fiend L” to protect his legal name.
Basically this fiend bought a whole bunch of molly for some EDM show this weekend. He was all excited talking about how he found the best Molly connect and all this bullshit all week long. He put together a little fiend bag of all the Mollies and a bunch of other terrible pills. Wrapped it all up nice and put it in his pocket.
BUT…this fucking idiot washed his pants in the laundry with all the pills still in his pants. However, what happened next is either a death sentence or miracle of modern science.
The pills all mixed together with laundry detergent and basically formed one giant super molly pill. AKA, the perfect molly. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s literally a perfect circular ball of molly, Tide, and whatever other fucking fiend pills he had. It’s actually a beautiful sight to see. I don’t even understand how it’s physically possible. It’s the perfect Molly.
So of course Fiend L is going against every recommendation in medical history and heavily contemplating taking the perfect molly at this show this weekend. This has become a pretty polarizing topic amongst The Super Mookin’ Fiends. Half of us think he’s 100% going to die. The other half think it’s going to be the best night of his life.
I know Fiend L the best. I can promise you this moron is going to take it. Regardless, just being the protagonist in this story makes you the Friday Fiend of the Week.
When any major sports franchise moves into the same “territory” or general market region as another established pro team they have to pay what’s dubbed as “territorial rights”.
For instance back in the late 70s when the Nets moved to NJ they had to pay the Knicks $3 million for “invading the Knick’s market”. Makes perfect sense to me. The basketball market share in the Tri-state area becomes diluted and the Knicks will inevitably lose business to the Nets no matter how big or small. It’s an invasion of their market because the league was designed for teams to be geographically spaced out better. This concept applies to many industries beyond sports. The Knicks/Nets case study is just one of the most famous basketball examples because the Nets ended up having to sell Dr. J in his prime to Philly to cover the $3 Million fee.